How do you start the path to loving yourself?

I've always thought self-love and the culture behind that was so silly. I automatically think of hippies waving around peace signs and wearing tie-dye, preaching how we need to love ourselves and Mother Earth. That message has since moved to various platforms of media to promote acceptance in our society. Whether it is your physical appearance, your sexual orientation, etc., there are videos and posts throughout the vast world of the internet that are trying to get us all to love ourselves.

I acknowledged those messages, but I never truly embraced it.

Like I said, how do you start the path to loving yourself? What do you mean that I have to move on from the superficial world of social media? What do you mean that I am more than the number on a scale or the amount of people I decide to sleep with? What do you mean that I am more than the seemingly lack of compliments that I receive or the sensitivity to the insults that I only seem to remember?

When I sit here and think about it, the term self-love and what it means bottles my brain like when you have written a word too many times and then it starts to look wrong. It is cloudy and muddled and staticky like when your foot falls asleep after you've been sitting for too long.

But as I sit here with my computer warming my lap, I'm starting to understand how the journey of loving myself begins. I've struggled with being happy with myself, my accomplishments, my weight, my height, my majors, my room, my existence for so long that I forgot the feeling of sincerely sitting down and appreciating myself. Today, I sat down on my bathroom floor and cried because I had a moment randomly. I was proud of who I have become.

I think the saddest moment of clarity right now for me is realizing that there people out there who are older than me, and younger than me who have never felt that feeling.

Of course, I'm not perfect. Far from it, actually. There's still so much I need to learn, to explore, to experience, and to feel. But right now, I want to document this moment where my eyes are puffy, my hair is in a bun, my dogs are curled around me, and I am proud of what I've done with my life.

As cheesy as this burp of thoughts has been, I sincerely hope that someone out there can read this and realize that it is okay to sit down (or stand...I mean, you do you) to appreciate yourself. You're alive. You're existing. Someone, out there, is thankful for you, and what you embody. A beautiful thing to realize is that that someone can be you. You can be thankful for yourself. I would argue that that falls in line with what I'm currently preaching, you know?

I acknowledge that reading something like this can make you roll your eyes and scoff because you've probably read much more articulate articles and more intelligent speeches about self love. That's so fine! You're welcomed to think what you think, because those are your thoughts, and how rad are your own thoughts?

These are mine: I'm Maddie Murcko. I'm currently 19 years old. I have two dogs. I'm an only child. I have difficulty breathing properly. I am proud of who I have become in these short 19 years, and I'm stoked for the future that I have.

I sincerely wish that you can smile and cry happily over what you've done because your life is only beginning. The path to loving yourself may be long, or short, bumpy or smooth, but whatever your path is - you'll be okay. You'll thrive.

Cheers. XO