In America, socioeconomic class can be argued to affect basically everything, and growing up in one versus another makes your childhood very unique. Particularly, growing up in a lower class (especially in a wealthier community) constructs a very unique set of experiences, perspectives, and awareness that many other people. That was my experience. Now that I'm (technically) an adult on my own in my own semi-controlled place in the economy, I am still realizing just how different I am as a person and how different my perceptions are from others'.
The first shock I realized as an adult is that moving up from the the lower class can still be pretty low-class in our country. I naively thought I was moving up in the world because I could afford to buy myself non-generic food and toiletries...but then, I realized that my Herbal Essences shampoo is still pretty cheap compared to the $75 face wash my best friend buys. It's almost like a culture shock to realize that the perfectly decent products I buy and the average apartment I live in are still incredibly low-end. This sounds super trivial and obvious to some people, but when you grew up hearing that $4 was incredibly too much to spend on one bottle of shampoo when there was a $1 option right next to it, you feel like you're gaining ground in life when you can buy it yourself. This was a big epiphany for me. Although this was exciting at the time, it literally means nothing. It means nothing that I can buy fresh vegetables rather than cheaper, frozen options, or that I can afford to splurge myself on occasion. I'm certainly not complaining, but the scale of the American economy is ridiculous. I'm realizing just how insignificant the 99% is, no matter what scale of that I'm on.
Secondly, I realized that most people are completely unaware of the privilege that they grew up with. I have friends in college who complain about the brand new car their parents bought them and don't know what it's like to have to work while going to school because their family pays for ALL of their tuition and bills. Meanwhile, scholarships saved my life, and my parents' means of helping stop past paying for my phone bill and life insurance. I'm extremely fortunate that my family was able to provide me with a vehicle, but I realize that a lot of my peers don't have them because they can't afford one or are saving up to buy one themselves. I don't judge anyone for what they do or do not have. This naivety doesn't necessarily make people from wealthier families bad people; it just means that they have a lot to learn and will probably be in for a rude awakening when they actually have to support themselves. As a child, I was always sort of spiteful of people who had no idea that their problems were so trivial; but in the end, my experiences are trivial compared to others, too. Still, there are times I've wanted to expose people's ignorance to them in a not-so-nice manner, but I usually contain myself.
As a part of growing up and maturing and learning that I didn't need to hate anyone who had more than me, I've also learned that a person's past and background do not define them as a person now, and I have nothing to be ashamed of. When I was younger, my home life was always somewhat protected; I never wanted my friends come over to my house and see how I lived when I could just go to their huge subdivision house that they'd lived in their entire lives with a pool and finished basement instead. I hid the fact that I moved a lot and that my family was on welfare and felt as though my entire home life was some deep, dark secret that only those I deeply trusted could be let in on. As a child, that's how I thought, and that's what my average blue-collar community taught me to think. I didn't tell anyone I got free lunch because my parents were divorced. But what all of this has made me realize as a mature(ish) adult now is that my value is no lesser than anyone else's, and I have the ability to make anything I want out of myself either way. I have no reason to be ashamed of myself or my family whatsoever.
In the same way I can tell who grew up rich, it's easy to pick out someone else who was less fortunate I've found that poor people are the most generous and compassionate. They know that they have to look out for each other and we have to help those that need it. How often have you seen someone who grew up wealthy his entire life advocating for someone who didn't? For the expansion of welfare? How often have you seen someone who knows what it's like to be stuck in poverty call poor people lazy? Even on a micro scale, just by the way someone carries himself, the types of products he buys, the kind of clothes he wears, you can tell.
I now know that some people will simply never have the same opportunities as others, and the idea of equality in opportunity is false. I've realized that it's bullshit when people tell you that if you just work hard enough, you can overcome any obstacle. I've written about this idea before; the American Dream is bullshit and I largely reject it. America is controlled by money, and if you don't have it, there are simply things you will never be able to do. For many, this includes going to college. This includes having the resources to find and explore your own potential. This includes knowing how to swim. Because of this, I've learned that I have to make my own opportunities. I have to force my way into things; I have to make myself belong.
As an adult, I don't regret the way I grew up. I now have an experience and a perspective that pushes me to be kinder, more accepting, and more determined. I know what the reality of life can be, and I know how important family is when you're in a hard place. I appreciate the little things in life a lot more. I am content and thankful for whatever I have in life: even my $4 shampoo.
