In the wake of my last article, in which I discussed the "Black Lives Matter" movement from my white and non-black POC (person of color) perspective, I've found myself engaged in more conversations online about race issues and even my own personal identity.

I am biracial, meaning I'm a mixture of two races/ethnicities: white, on my dad's side, and Filipino, on my mom's side. Specifically speaking, my dad's family is originally from England, but has been in America since the time of the Mayflower Voyage (so, think around the year 1620). Meanwhile, my mom's parents moved to America from the Philippines in the 1960s. Thus, I am 50% white and 50% Filipino (see cover photo of my parents and me for visual aid).

While growing up in a mixed family has many perks (celebrating different holidays, eating many kinds of food, practicing unique cultural traditions, teaching kids about racial diversity through firsthand experience, etc.), it's got its problems. During my childhood, my mixed identity made itself known through confusion and curiosity.

I spent most of my time with my parents when I wasn't in school, so the sight of two people from completely different racial backgrounds loving and supporting one another through marriage was normalized for me. Because of this, when I watched movies or TV shows, I felt strange whenever I saw parents of the same race. While watching the High School Musical trilogy, I often asked myself, why did they pair up the only two main black characters? As much as I may love Chad and Taylor’s relationship, their conveniently homogeneous pairing did not escape my young eyes, especially when considering the sheer lack of interracial relationships and multiracial characters across all forms of media.

Another obstacle which persisted throughout my upbringing was the question oh-so-dreaded by mixed kids on standardized tests: "What race/ethnic background are you? Choose only one."

It's like someone forgot to tell College Board that, hey, not every kid is 100% black or white. You'd think in the year 2016 they'd have hit backspace on those three torturous words--choose only one--but now we're just lucky if they have the option of "multiracial" (which is definitely progressive, but being able to mark both Filipino and Caucasian on one answer sheet would really motivate me before I dive right into those SATs). Even then, that's a new development, as I can recall the days of my ten-year-old self stressing over which race to bubble in, which side of my family I wanted to represent with my good scores. Meanwhile, all of the other kids get to represent all of their family!

As I've gotten older and become more aware of racial issues within our country and the world, I've learned a few more things about myself. Sometimes, we mixed kids are blessed with the curse of what's called being "white passing", which means we can pass for just our white descent in our appearance. It's a blessing because it can be a safeguard from bigotry--it's as if we're secret agents, undercover as white people, yet still part of another, non-white culture. Yet, it's also a curse, as it can lead to feelings of disassociation from our family members that are not white, as we'll look so incredibly different from them. For me, whether I appear as simply white or not is an opinion that changes from person to person, but I acknowledge that it still gives me certain privileges my full POC friends do not have.

And then a unique prejudice kicks in, in the form of the obnoxious “Oh, you’re Filipino? You don’t look Filipino! You’re not Filipino! You’re white!” comments.

Uh, listen, I’m 18 years old. I think I know what race I am, but thanks for your input.

Being mixed race sometimes feels like I’m juggling two huge balls while people on either side of me are poking at each, trying to throw me off balance. On one side, someone’s disrespecting my Filipino culture, refusing to correct their clearly intellectual spellings of the words “Philippines” and “Filipino” (hate to break it to you, but, no, it’s not “Philipines” or “Philipino”, but nice try); on the other, I’ve received a strange comment of “You’re not white! You’re Filipino! But you’re not white!”, whatever that means. And then of course there are the hateful opinions of groups like the KKK who believe race mixing is a straight-up sin but I digress.

Because of these feelings and experiences many multiracial people have had, it’s vital that we stick together and support one another. I’m headed off to college in two weeks to enter the perilous world of the film industry, and I’ve sworn to myself that any story of mine is going to have multiracial characters--played by multiracial actors. And, yes, they exist; just look at Chloe Bennet from Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on ABC! She plays the character of Daisy Johnson/Quake and is half-Chinese and half-white in both the show and real life. I’m sure any mixed person reading this can really empathize with the joy I felt when I first learned about her identity.

For the current moment, though, all I can do is say to the media: normalize interracial relationships and the existence multiracial people.

And to my fellow mixed kids out there, keep doing what you're doing, and remember that your identity belongs to YOU!