Growing Up Is The Hardest Part

Growing Up Is The Hardest Part

Life is so much different without mom's home cooked meals.

Back to school it was for me this week, but this time it was different than any other year. I finally moved out. The pressure of being all alone and an adult is seriously overwhelming. I don't think I've ever been as overwhelmed as I have been today. The hardest part about moving out was probably when my mom drove away to leave me at my apartment. That moment was probably harder for me than it was for her.

Words can't express how excited I am to finally be "on my own" but the reality behind it all is that I'm actually terrified of actually being on my own. The many bills I have to pay and the books I have to rent for classes I have yet to start. I've realized that growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's really intense and as kids you never think of it being that way. Simple things like making sure the doors are locked are things I now worry about because I don't have my mom to come behind me and check them. I have to grocery shop because my mom can't go and pick up something for me. I have to make my own doctor appointments if I get sick because my mom can't call it in for me. I have to drive myself wherever I go because my mom isn't around to drive me wherever when I don't want to drive. I have to do my own laundry because my mom isn't here to do it for me. Honestly, I feel like a big baby because I keep talking about my mom, but the truth is she has done everything for me and taught me everything I know so I'm really sad that I can't be with her all the time. I'm entirely grateful for her. I wish she could be around forever. But, growing up and leaving the nest is a part of growing up.

The main point I want to get across is that, simple things shouldn't be taken for granted like mom cooking dinner. I really don't know what it's like to be on my own but here is to the rest of my life. I feel hopeful and prepared to start this journey of mine called adolescence but I am terrified. Life is meant to be enjoyed and I couldn't be more excited for the next two years left of my college career.

Cover Image Credit: InstaMoz

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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4 Things I Wish High School Me Knew

Every day has a purpose.


People don't give high school enough credit for having the ability to shape your life. It can build you or it can break you and often times there is no in between. As I enter into my senior year of college I have reflected a lot on my college career and how it really has been the best years of my life up to this point, but I know that without a doubt my life would have been so different in I would have known these things as a high schooler.

1. Your life is valuable

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. - Ephesians 2:4-7

2. You aren't defined by your singleness. 

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. - Song of Solomon 2:7

4. You aren't going to fit in

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. - Romans 12:2

4. Your clothes aren't going to fit forever, don't spend all of your money on them 

Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." - Luke 12:15

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