Growing up I never realized how my reality and perspective on life was shaped a little differently than others. I grew up in a household where constant eye contact and enunciation are vital in communication. A place where captions are strung throughout the television screens, and facial expressions are above-and-beyond. I’ve grown up as a hearing individual to two deaf parents. Not many people would guess that I came from deaf parents, because I seem to be completely normal... so, I made a list of how it is to live as a CODA (child of a deaf adult).
1. Mispronunciations are quite common (FaJita, Gurrafe, Wayyfles).
2. When I was little, communication was frustrating (on both ends) because I thought I was signing when really I was signing complete gibberish, and my older sister had to be my mini translator until I learned how to sign.
3. Whispering is nonexistent (dad I can hear you whispering in the other room).
4. Slamming cabinet doors and stomping everywhere are some of the beautiful sounds of a deaf household.
5. Rustling through pans sounds like a war has just come through the kitchen.
6. I naturally start talking sometimes... I forget they're deaf and they have no idea I was even trying to talk to them.
7. When the dogs bark at a squirrel outside…. they bark forever… until my sister or I realize it.
8. Our dogs know sign language.
9. My parents can call people using a VP (video-phone) where there's an interpreter on the other side that calls for them, and interprets back the message, and so on.
10. My house often looks like a party with strobe lights; lights flashing is a way of communication instead of screaming (our doorbell and home phone are hooked up to the lights, so when they ring, the lights in the house flash).
11. Flailing arms like a maniac, stomping, throwing an object across the room... you have to get creative with trying to get the attention of someone across the room.
12. The amount of dumb questions my sister and I get about living with deaf parents is outstanding (they can talk, they can drive, and they can do anything anyone else can do, they just can’t hear… that’s it).
13. When the fire detector goes off, it goes off until my sister or I come home.
14. And it’s the worst hunt to find it because we’re the only ones who can hear it.
15. You realize just how rude people are in public.
16. If you stare at my family in the restaurant, or wherever we are, we will immediately stare right back to show you how uncomfortable it feels.
17. Interpreters are normal to be found at big events in my sister or I’s lives (graduations, orientations, weddings, etc.), which means we usually get front row to these events because our parents need to see the interpreter onstage.
18. When we were little, my sister and I were normally some of the only hearing people at deaf events we went to (but we had fun with it).
19. Over-expressiveness is common… this gets me into trouble when I naturally make a rude face to someone yelling at me or I smile at an inappropriate time.
20. Realizing that if I ever got pulled over by the cops, etc. and I had to call my parents… I wouldn’t be able to (my sister is always on speed dial instead).
21. Whenever we go to stores, drive-thrus, or restaurants my sister and I have to be interpreters for our parents.
22. Driving and talking is dangerous... because technically you can't focus your attention on the road and at the person signing all at once.
23. Second thoughts on if my parents were truly deaf or this was all a joke (but no worries, my parents are definitely deaf and this is not a joke).
24. The sign “I love you” will forever be engraved into our hands and heart.
