Growing Up The Chubby Friend
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Growing Up The Chubby Friend

I was reluctant to be myself because I was constantly wondering what others thought of me. This is my journey.

Growing Up The Chubby Friend
Mickey Bratton

Growing up, I always thought of myself as the chubby friend, mainly because I was. Stemming way back to elementary school, I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin and often compared myself to others. Most thoughts were driven by my insecurities, forcing me to dwell on them.

I became of them.

I was shy and reluctant to be myself because I caught myself constantly wondering what others thought of me. I wanted to be more than my weight. I wanted to be someone that I wasn't. My mind was tricked into thinking that image was everything.

I wanted my crush to like me so much that I even changed up my hair and wardrobe. My friends, at the time, were thin and appeared to be confident. They were able to wear shorts and tight tank-tops without a worry in the world. Seeing them prance around, lanky and all, I couldn't help but feel envious towards them.

I can remember one time during a Girl Scouts camping trip; us girls were all settled in our cots in a tent, ready for bed. They were giggling and carrying on. I eventually stopped laughing and became quiet, hoping that they would, too. I even hoped that maybe they would think that I was sleeping.

I think they did because one of the girls said something along the lines of, "Imagine Mickey wearing a shirt like that", which caused another girl to laugh. I felt so uneasy hearing that from someone that I thought was my friend. I silently cried myself to sleep that night, while trying not to miss home and my mom.

I think when I started to realize that confidence would eventually grow in me, I started to become more immune to my appearance. I needed to carry myself with more confidence, even if it was false.

Eventually, when I was in middle school, I was more conscious about my outfits and the makeup on my face. I was consumed by the idea that I needed to impress people to make myself feel good. I needed to hide my insecurities. I needed to wear clothes that hid my belly rolls.

At swimming parties, I'd be the one immediately covering up my body with a towel to prevent the attention. I felt awkward. Around my friends, I felt like I was a giant in a town of normal-sized people. I couldn't enjoy myself as much as I could have.

I even avoided pulling my hair back into a ponytail because I thought that it made my face appear more circular and chunkier.

Going into high school, I was completely obsessed with my image. I spent an unhealthy amount of time getting ready each morning. Everything had to be perfect. Every piece of food that I put into my body made me feel guilty. I felt like I kept tabs for every meal.

I wore jeans, yoga pants, or leggings because I was still uncomfortable wearing dresses and skirts up until my senior year. I wouldn't be caught without makeup on, which was stupid since I played tennis after school.

During my junior year, I talked to this guy who was thinner than me. I was back to feeling like the chubby one again. While we were talking, I felt the need to lose weight and tone up. As a matter of fact, I was so focused on slimming down that I went all the way down to 115 pounds, which is around the weight I was at the beginning of middle school.

To get to that point, I did so much cardio and used the majority of the machines at the gym almost every day. I found myself there for hours, barely relaxing at home. I didn't eat carbs and reduced my sugar intake to where I was strictly drinking chicken broth and eating avocados, salads, chicken, oatmeal, eggs, shakes, and protein bars.

I was confident in my appearance, but I was not happy.

I was too worried about my food intake and exercising that I felt like I wasn't living and fully enjoying my youth. My face was always in the camera, taking selfies and wanting to be in pictures constantly.

My senior year was when I found my place in my class. I loved being around my friends in the theater academy. They were so accepting and outgoing that I realized that was where I felt the happiest.

I didn't have to impress others for them to like me, nor did it change my mind about how I felt about myself. I accepted myself for who I was. My worries that I was once so compulsive about became no longer.

Here I am during my college years, living in acceptance. I went a whole year without weighing myself and when I did, I found that I'm close to 140 pounds. Even though I could use some toning up, I realized that the weight I gained is what I refer to as happy weight.

Because I've been on a spiritual journey since high school, I've shifted my priorities. Not saying that my priorities are balanced... because they aren't. I've focused more on my inner self as opposed to my outer self.

Learning to love myself has been a journey, but it was well worth the struggles of being insecure and uncomfortable for so long.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less

Unleash Inspiration: 15 Relatable Disney Lyrics!

Leave it to Disney to write lyrics that kids of all ages can relate to.

The 15 most inspiring Disney songs

Disney songs are some of the most relatable and inspiring songs not only because of the lovable characters who sing them, but also because of their well-written song lyrics. While some lyrics make more sense with knowledge of the movie's story line that they were written for, other Disney lyrics are very relatable and inspiring for any listener.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments