Sure, my mom may be in a long-term relationship now, but for the first 18 years of my life, she did anything and everything to raise me right and give me the most amazing life. Here’s a few things you learn/know if you grow up with a single mother.
1. You’re stuck with each other, whether you like it or not.
Whatever your circumstances were, you were destined to be a child of a single mother and you had to face the facts and deal with your situation. Personally, I am extremely happy that my lovely Mama J raised me alone, and that’s because I know that she loves and cares for me a heck of a lot more than my biological father ever would have. Whatever the circumstances may be, you and your mom are stuck together and you have to find a way to deal with it, not matter how hard that may be. Trust me, I know how hard it is.
2. Your mom isn’t, and shouldn’t be, your best friend.
A misconception, I believe, of many people is that your mom should be your best friend. I remember being in middle school and high school hearing my friends talk about how their mom was their best friend and I was so jealous because I felt that I didn’t have that with my mom. What I realized a few years into high school, wishing I had realized it earlier, is that your mom shouldn’t be your best friend when she’s raising you and you’re still not an adult. Now that I’m 22, I consider my mom to be one of my best friends, if not the best. However, when I was 16, I know that it was for the best that my mom wasn’t my best friend. My mom was faced with raising me alone, giving me consequences alone and comforting me alone, but she told me one thing growing up: she was not going to try and be my best friend. The majority of my friends had both parents in the picture, the same ones that had their mom as their best friend, which made me realize something: my friends had parents who had the ability to have both parents raise them, while also having a parent that could act as their best friend. I saw that play out in terms of a relationship that I saw with a previous friend: she had both parents in the picture and her mom gave her everything that she wanted and let her do anything that she wanted, while her father was the one to implement consequences. My mom didn’t have that luxury; she had to have discipline with me and couldn’t defer to another parent for consequences. It is absolutely nothing against dual parent homes, I just grew up noticing a difference. Now, at 22, I am extremely grateful for that difference because I have the opportunity to call my mom my best friend as an adult.
3. You didn’t have a dad to celebrate Father's Day with each year.
Mom was always the go-to with my Father’s Day school crafts and cards, and to this day I still take the opportunity to wish my mommy a happy Father's Day for doing the job of two parents and raising me to be the woman that I am today. Do you know how hard that sh*t is? I honestly don’t know how my mom did it; I know for a fact that I was a pain in the a** growing up and yet she still managed to do an amazing job. One woman doing a job meant for two people and doing a damn good job at it is impressive.
4. You may have developed other special relationships.
If you were lucky like me, you would grow close to your grandfather (or other family member) and he would treat you like his daughter, but spoil you like his granddaughter at the same time. I am so thankful that I grew up with my grandfather by my side, at every softball and soccer game, my No. 1 go-to and I don’t think that I would have had such a great relationship with him and my grandmother if it weren’t for my mom being a single mother. Mama J went back to school for her Master's while I was growing up, which gave me plenty of time to bond with my unbelievably amazing grandparents. I always question, though, what my relationship would have been like with my father’s parents, knowing how close I am to my mom’s parents.
5. No matter what, you will always have a No. 1 fan.
I’m not going to act like I can do no wrong in the eyes of my mother because that’s not realistic. However, the reality is that no matter what I do in life, whatever life path I may choose, my mom will always be in my corner cheering me on, and for that, I am forever grateful. I have made my mistakes and it's not like I haven’t been reprimanded for them, but I know that in the end, my mom will always be there to stand by my side and root for my success. That being said, I still call her almost every day, if not more than once a day, to ask for advice or just to gossip.
After all, mother knows best.
