I guess the right thing to refer to me as would be a “Panhellenic dropout”. Most people writing an article like this will outright say that they dropped out after the first day or two, or just never went through the recruitment process. Throughout Rush week, I endured five very long days caked full of makeup, dressed my absolute best, smiling until my cheeks hurt, and trying to make conversation with hundreds of different sorority girls. I made it all the way to Pref night before I decided I was done with this process. Panhellenic recruitment was definitely one of the most tiring weeks of my life, and I was not enjoying it at all. The anxiety I felt as I picked the next day’s outfit, ran from across campus in heels from house to house and waited to see where I had been asked back to and dropped from caused many shameful tears on each day. I was overwhelmed by the formality of the process and the awkwardness of the very basic conversations, and even after five days into the week, I had yet to walk into a house and feel like I was “home.” I watched my friends cry after having awkward conversations, and I felt the sense of competition amongst all of us. As I watched many people I know get asked back to their top houses, and having been dropped from mine, I was so close to the end, but I had honestly already given up. I realized, that at this time, Greek life really wasn’t for me.

I watched some of my friends accept bids from their favorite houses, and bitterly scrolled through all of the Instagram photos packed full of matching shirts and Greek letters. I was beyond upset at first, and I felt like I was the only one missing out. But looking back, things couldn’t have worked out in a better way for me. I didn’t join the Panhellenic community, but I found many other communities on campus. I became extremely active in Jewish student life through Hillel, became a writer for the Odyssey, joined a few clubs, and accepted a marketing position at the FSU chapter of Spoon University, only a few weeks into my freshman year. I took the opportunity to jump into things I feel extremely passionate about, even if at this time, its not Greek life. I’ve allowed myself to make new friends, have watched old friendships flourish and I couldn’t be happier with how my first year of college is going, so far.

This is not to say I’m against Panhellenic and what it stands for. This is also not to say that I will never go through recruitment ever again, or that I’ll never decide to join a chapter. I just haven’t found my home in Greek life, and that’s fine. These things don’t always come instantly to everyone and there is nothing wrong with that. Not everyone is bound to find their place during the first time going through recruitment; its an extremely awkward and stressful process. I didn’t find the right sisterhood for me, but neither did a lot of other people. The point that I’m trying to get across is that there is so much more to college than Greek life. There are so many opportunities to take part in, clubs to join, friends to make, and times to go out. Not going Greek is not the end of the world.