Do you ever go back to that time? Do you ever contemplate the scenario over? Do you ever ask yourself why it had to happen to you? Do you ever look in the mirror and see that scar and wince at yourself? Do you ever blame yourself? Others? Do you ever just think about it?
To this day, I still remember like it was yesterday. To me, it was just one of those events that ingrain your memory; it was something that you cannot un-see, un-feel, nor un-experience. So many things were happening at the same time, it felt overly chaotic. It was more than a scared and inexperienced 17-year-old could handle alone.
To everyone else who knows not the situation, let me explain.
It was a nice day. My cousins were over and my mother was out running errands. I was in charge. Everyone was doing their own things, from watching television, playing video games or just sleeping. Except one of my cousins was on the floor, petting my dog, Maximus. My cousin calls me over, and I notice Max was chewing on his bone. So I grabbed his bone and was playfully teasing him to play.
That was when it happened. Max sat up a bit, turned over, and started to “attack” my cousin. He had my cousin by the face and would not let go. It took me a second to do anything, for I was in utter shock. I go over and try to pull Max off of my cousin. As I did that, my cousin went up with it. So I was screaming at Max to let my cousin go. When I finally got him off and into the laundry room. I heard my cousin hysterically call for me. I rushed over and I saw the wound and tried not to react to it. My cousin kept asking if it looked bad, if there was a lot of blood, if he had to go to the hospital.
It did. There was. He had to.
I called the appropriate numbers, and an ambulance came within minutes.
Back to the grateful, cheerful, forgiving child.
Trying to calm everyone down, including myself, at the same time was painful only because it was such a freak occurrence. It was something no one was used to, nor could predict. He was such a sweet boy, the sweetest could be. Just like you.
I am sorry you went through that. I am sorry I put you through that. I am sorry I was the cause of your trauma, fear and confusion. I am sorry for it all, that it ever happened. I am so very sorry.
It is a good thing you turned out all right. It is a good thing you have a good heart within you. You of all the people in that situation wanted to see him, again. You thought everyone deserved second chances. It is unfortunate that no one else thought the same way you did.
Now he is gone, and the home feels empty. You know Max did not mean what he did to you, and you wish he was still around. Knowing that you can forgive someone like that, and not be afraid of him, gives me hope that the younger generation has the same kind heart and strong mentality. If so, our future is in good hands.
