First off. I miss you. I miss you more and more everyday. When I do something that I know you'd be proud of. I just want to pick up the phone and tell you. I just remind myself that you get to see everything I'm doing because you're watching over me.
I hope you're up there smiling down on me. I hope you're up there dancing with grandpa because I knew you missed him. I hope you're up there listening to the angels sing.
There are many things I could say to you. But the one thing I want to say is that I am sorry. I am sorry for taking you for granted. I'm sorry for always cutting our phone calls short because I was too caught up in my own life to be bothered with you. And man do I regret that. There's nothing more I want than to hear my phone ring one more time with you on the other side. But you understood and I am thankful for that.
I may have thought of you as overbearing and sometimes annoying but I was always happy to call you grandma. You always showed up to my games even when you were so sick. I appreciate that. And I miss it. I missed you at my last years of soccer.
I never let you know how I appreciative I was of you. But now that you’re gone, I realize I should have spent a little more time with you. I can’t change that. Now I realize how great you were. You cared. I am not going to apologize for what I am about to say. You were my only grandma. The only who cared. You cared enough to call me everyday. You cared enough to show up to my soccer games even if you had no clue what was going on. You were my number one fan. I know you still are my number fan.
It's hard to believe that you've been gone almost three years. It feels like yesterday you were wishing me happy birthday for the last time.
You were the "crazy" grandma. But everyone loved you. And when I say everyone I mean everyone. All of my friends, all of your grandkids, all of us. We all loved you dearly. And we still do.
Oh and don't worry about mom. I'm taking care of her. She still has her moments where she misses you more than anything in the world but we all do.
Nothing gives me more peace than knowing you’re up there watching over me and bugging the crap out grandpa. Like mom and I said, he’s peace and quiet is over. You get to hear the angel's sing. You’re not in pain anymore. And that gives me peace.
Until I see you again.
Love,
Sammi Rae
