11 Signs You Are The 'Grandma Friend' Of The Friend Group

11 Signs You Are An Absolute Grandma In Heart And Soul, If Not Age

The older are wiser.

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When people categorize themselves in their friend groups, they're often the mom friend or the dad friend. The mom is the helicopter, looking out for their friends' well-being. The dad makes corny jokes and goofs off. But what if you don't identify with either of these types? Looking a generation above them to the grandma type is where I found my spirit.

If you're wondering if you're a grandma too, here are some things that you probably do.

1. You’re not up-to-date on the hip lingo.

Back in your day, floss was something you put between your teeth, not a cool dance move.

2. You’re in bed by 11:00 p.m. most nights.

Or even earlier if your day was especially taxing.

3. You wake up super early.

I'm usually up and ready by 7:30, which is much earlier than my other friends.

4. You eat your meals early.

6 p.m. is just too late for dinner.

5. Your friends have to help you write your Instagram captions because you don’t know how to sound “cool.”

"Can you read my caption before I post it? Will my followers 'get' it?"

6. Your purse is full of all sorts of essentials you almost never need.

Cough drops, mints, hand sanitizer, chap stick, and bandages, among other things.

7. In the winter, you’re always sure to dress warm.

You always wear your warmest sweater and big winter coat on the chilly days.

8. Your ideal evening plans involve staying in and reading a book over hot chocolate.

How could partying and drinking possibly be more fun than a warm drink and a good book?

9. You’re always there to offer your friends advice.

Whenever your friends need a listening ear or some direction in life, you're the one they come to.

10. You’re very early to everything.

Your motto is "early is on time, on time is late, and late is very late."

11. You always ask your friends if they’ve had enough to eat when you’re hosting.

Even if they insist they're full, you'll still offer second helpings, extra dessert, and top off their glass.

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10 Abnormally Normal Things About College

Some stuff just doesn't fly in the real world.
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College is a weird, weird place. For whatever reason, the young adults who are supposed to be cultivating their minds with all of the worldly knowledge available to them, seem to get away with quite a bit using the justification "it's college." Even the best students live abnormally while on the alien planet that is a university. So, while to us college students it may just seem like another day, here are ten things that are only normal in college.

1. Straight up theft.

In the future, if I walk into my forty-something-year-old neighbor's home and see a collection of stolen signs, stuff from the local restaurant, and property from the construction site down the road, I would definitely be concerned about the character of my neighbor. However, in college, people proudly display campus signs, traffic cones, or dining hall napkin dispensers that they have impressively commandeered - it's a cheap decoration and a great conversation starter.

2. All-nighters.

Maybe with the exception of parents of little babies, very few people willingly stay up for close to 24 hours on end. In the real world, if a friend came to you and said that they literally did not sleep the previous night, it's completely logical to be worried. On the other hand, when a friend in college says that he was up all night you laugh a little, give him an understanding pat on the back, and walk with him to the coffee line.

3. Atrocious eating habits.

Sometimes you don't have time to eat. Sometimes you order pizza at 2 in the morning. Sometimes you eat three dinners. Sometimes you diet. All I can say, is thank goodness that our metabolisms are decently high at this age.

4. Breaking and entering.

In high school, you hopefully knew everyone who entered your home. After college, hopefully, that's still the case. However, when you live in the middle of thousands of bored college students, people knock at your door, walk into parties, cut through your yard, and stop by without invitation or hesitation. It keeps life fun, but still not normal.

5. Calling mom when stuff goes down.

I really doubt a time will ever come that I don't need to call my mom for guidance on how to do something. But, hopefully the frequency of those calls with go down a little bit post-graduation. Maybe after four years of doing it on my own, I'll know how to fill out government forms, cook real dinners, and get stains out. But for now, I'm going to keep calling while I still can without seeming totally pathetic.

6. Being intoxicated at weird times.

Drunk at noon on a Friday is the quintessence of an alcoholic at any time - unless it's college. Not that this is necessarily a good thing, and it certainly doesn't apply to everyone, but there aren't many other places where people would instantly assume someone is intoxicated if they're acting even a little weird. I've even seen people drink in the library....

7. The messed up dating scene.



There are people who meet the love of their life at college and live happily ever after. They are people who meet the supposed love of their life at college and never talk to them again after Sunday. There are people who use Tinder. Hormones are high, freedom is bountiful, and football players are cute - what else needs to be said?

8. A warped sense of time.

The career I'm pursuing will require me to be at work by 7 am, five days a week. I am fully aware of this. Now, will I enroll in an 8 am next semester? Absolutely not - I'm not a demon. In college, nights often start at 10 p.m., dinners are eaten at 4, and mornings can begin anywhere from 8 to 2. We don't get that whole 9-5 idea.

9. Costumes... for no apparent reason.

High schoolers have a dress code. Adults have dignity. College students have fun. Here, people will wear a corn costume to get on ESPN, a fanny pack to get into a fraternity, or a tutu to match a theme party. Is it actually a weird thing, though? No one even blinks an eye.

10. Insanely close friends.

Name another point in your life when you live with your friends, study with your friends, drive with your friends, eat with your friends, go out with your friends, and even grocery shop with your friends. I'll wait. At college, it's easy for friends to seem like family because you're with them constantly. Love it or hate it, it's weird about college.

So, enjoy this weirdness while you can - it won't last forever!


ALSO SEE:

Uncensored Roommate Confessions!

Cover Image Credit: Matthew Kupfer

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My Ex-Best Friend Didn't Even Consider Me That

It's the little things that make you start to realize someone's true colors.

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Sometimes it's hard to see someone for who they truly are; we always want to see people the way we want to see them.

One of the hardest things for me was realizing that the girl I thought was my best friend was in fact not. No matter how much I tried to make excuses for her actions, in the back of my mind it never made sense to me. I was never treated with the same respect that I gave. Whenever I did something she did something or said something she did not agree with, it was taken note of. Whenever I was dating someone she didn't like, I was given attitude and experienced passive aggression.

When we were out with a group of friends having fun, she would make it a point to be rude and act as if she was having a horrible time, which would certainly dampen the mood. Again, I continually would make excuses for her and act like everything was okay - but it most definitely wasn't okay.

When she wanted to stop being friends, at first I was very torn up about it; felt as if my world was falling apart for a little while. How could someone who was my best friend not want to be friends all of a sudden, over something so minor? As cliché as it sounds, I thought true friends were for forever, no matter at what cost.

You would think, we are adults, we can fix things in an adult manner. I tried reaching out for a bit and even asked other friends for advice. Little did I know that this would not matter one bit in my life now.

If I could tell myself the things I know now, back then, I would tell myself not to grieve. I would tell myself that this will not matter in the least bit to my life in the long run. I would tell myself that I have other best friends that are one-hundred percent more deserving of my love, time, and dedication to them - far more than this person who has no relevance to me whatsoever now.

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