A few weeks ago I had the privilege and honor of graduating from the Pennsylvania State University, along with an enormous amount of other students. It was a day full of determination, happiness, relief, and excitement for what the future holds! It was also a day of nostalgia and sadness, just for the simple fact that one phase of our lives has come to an end.
It was not easy for me to come to terms with the fact that graduation means the end of college. Which, to me, also meant no more club meetings, fundraisers, and community service events. No more late night, caffeine-fueled study sessions in the library with friends. No more comfort in knowing I could always drop by my friend's apartments after a bad day.
Graduation meant it was time to leave the place that molded me into the person I am today. It was a tough pill to swallow, but thankfully I managed to pull through. Now, I'm so excited to start my new post-grad life and experience all that the real world has to offer me.
I am aware, though, that not everyone graduated, or will be graduating, this spring. Plus, when I'm dealt a difficult situation, I try to find the silver lining or at least find ways to laugh. So, in an effort to make light of a heavy transition period, and shed light on what really happens at graduation, allow the "Lord of the Idiots" to explain how the graduation ceremony usually goes down.
1. The day of graduation you wake up super early and get your game face on.
It’s now or never. You only get one college graduation, and you want to make it a great one. You know there will be an enormous amount of photo-ops, so you have to put your face on.
2. You get to graduation and suddenly remember that one time you dropped your pencil and the creepy guy from bio picked it up and never returned it.
This quickly catapults you into a sappy cesspool of insignificant memories that temporarily makes you incredibly nostalgic. Not that you'll miss creepy guy from bio...but, hello, you'll never be in bio again.
3. You snap out of it when you see all your friends line up to get their name card.
All clad their cap and gown, being all collegiate of course. So, you buck up and remind yourself that graduation is the natural procession of life, so to speak. If college is the circle of life, you are the top player. You made it. You survived.
4. You manage to step on more than a few people’s gowns as you make your way to your seat.
On your way you see all the people you ever exchanged awkward eye contact with at the cafeteria, library, quad, gym, parking lot, grocery store...anyway, yeah, you’re so close to never seeing these people again.
5. Next thing you know, you’re listening to the keynote speaker lecture you on “following passion” and “finding one’s purpose.”
As if you didn’t already have these quotes plastered over every square inch of your apartment.
6. After that, you’re walking on stage to shake hands with the Chancellor, and a few other folks dressed in super official-looking gowns.
Honestly, where is the Harry Potter theme song when you need it most?
7. You walk off stage to be greeted by an overworked photographer.
Although, a few days later you'll get an email with your pictures and thank a higher power that you chose college instead of modeling.
8. You start making your way back to your seat and hear your family and friends cheer you on.
No big deal. You just walked across the stage and took a picture with a diploma replica that symbolizes the completion of four years of blood, sweat, and ramen. I repeat, NO BIG DEAL.
9. You realize you forgot to eat breakfast RIGHT as the Alma Mater starts playing.
You tell people the tears are due in part by your extreme hunger. But, you know the truth. Everyone knows the truth.
10. Once the ceremony is over, you and the rest of the graduates make your way to the designated meeting area for friends and family.
This is best described as trying to herd cattle into a tiny square room. As a result, you're elbowed in the ribs by someone's grandma, and it takes you (if you're lucky) 20 minutes to find the fam.
11. At last, you meet up with your family, take pictures with friends, and finally, start your new life as a college graduate.
May success follow you wherever you go— cheers!
