In my years of schooling, I've gone through preschool all the way into graduating my senior year. Yet, in all those years of education, I was never taught to love myself and why it was so important to do so.
In middle school, my friends and I were picked on frequently for our interests, our styles, who we were dating, and just overall who we were as people. One afternoon, we had a schoolwide JDRF diabetes walk. One of my best friends and her girlfriend were holding hands, while another friend and I had a conversation between the four of us.
A half hour into the walk, one of our peers came up to my friend and her girlfriend and began harassing her. They were asking inappropriate questions like, "How do you have sex?", or "Don't you feel disgusting?" They then slapped the third friend's butt.
We went inside and went directly to the principal. To avoid naming any names, we'll call her Dr. A. Being that Dr. A was a lesbian herself, with children, we thought that she would be more understanding. She certainly was not.
We explained the situation to her, to which she replied with, "It's your fault; you can't expect people to not make fun of you when you have two girls holding hands. You should have known better." We then explained the situation of the third friend being inappropriately slapped, to which she replied again, "She should have known better as well."
That was the day I was taught that keeping the other students appeased was more important than our safety.
In high school, I dated someone who didn't go to school with us and lost a lot of friends in the process. From sophomore year up until the day I graduated, I came to school crying. I left school crying. I cried during school. I stopped participating in school clubs, and I started going to the library instead of lunch.
No one said anything.
I never had anyone ask if I was okay. I was never asked if I needed help. I was in a toxic relationship for two years and never was I asked if I needed someone. Getting out of that relationship was the best decision I could have ever made for myself.
That was the time I was taught that minding your own business was more important than the well-being of others.
Throughout our schooling, we as women are ridiculed by the way that we dress and the way that we act. We are pulled out of class because our shoulders are showing or because our bra straps are showing. God forbid, we wouldn't want anyone to know that women wear bras, while the male students are walking around schools with their pants around their ankles.
We are constantly taught that keeping THEM focused is more important than OUR education.
I spent years trying to find who I am, spiritually and physically. I spent years trying to remove the bullet like insults from my skin that had shot at me for years. Yet, it was a lesson that I had to learn by myself.
No one in my days of education taught me that I was important. No one in school taught my friends and I that it was okay to defend ourselves. We were taught to think identically, to memorize the material on the next text. Sit up straight, never speak out of turn, raise your hand, and never question what you're being told.
Never in our years of education were we taught how to love ourselves.
