I understand the urge to gather all of your closest friends in one place during the month of December for one final romp before we all head our separate directions for the holidays. I want to give all of my pals a proper farewell with some hard cider and dirty- decorated gingerbread men and women too. I urge everyone this holiday season instead of requesting everyone don their least attractive holiday sweater to take the more creative route. This is one holiday tradition that has become less about digging around in your grandmother’s wardrobe and more about hand selecting your favorite “ugly X-mas sweater” from Urban Outfitters or even a website accurately entitled www.uglychristmassweater.com. Where’s the fun in that? There is none. The novelty has completely been wiped away by the fact that now ugly sweaters are being mass produced for half-assed holiday parties all around the world. Here are some alternatives that are still indie enough to maintain your street cred.

A Very Heat Miser Holiday

All your guests need to complete their looks is a bright red clown nose and fiery locks sticking straight up. Remind them to permanently scowl at everyone as a greeting and don’t forget to turn the thermostat in your apartment way up.

Belsnickel’s Bash

Pay homage to the greatness of The Office and throw a traditional party that Dwight would be proud of. One lucky party goer gets to portray Belsnickel and whack others with a tree branch. Let’s face it, most of us have been quite impish this year.

White Rhinoceros Gift Exchange

The “white elephants” frequently ignored younger sibling, a white rhino gift exchange is all about the rarity of the gifts in question. The white rhino is the largest species of rhinoceros and is the most social, so you know what that means: a wild time had by all. The goal is to bring the rarest item you can collect and exchange it in the traditional manner of the “white elephant”. This may include, but is not limited to: first edition copies of great American novels, hair samples from the tenth president of the U.S. (John Tyler), or the name of a store that still sells VHS tapes (not ironically).

Naughty Elf on a Shelf

Elf on a Shelf is pure gold. I believe we should all live our lives as if we were elves on shelves, so why not make it your whole holiday party theme. Naturally everyone dresses as their own version of the elf they would like to embody. Dissuade people from the traditional green tights and pointy ears as elves come in all different shapes and sizes. Then you basically all just sit around staring at each other well into the late hours of the evening taking note of any bad behavior so you can report it back to “Santa”. The one person designated as “Santa” for the evening never interacts with the other people at the party and spends the night at a mysterious location checking the same list several times and eating cookies.

Life Imitates Art

Think holiday romcom meets real life people meets alcoholic beverages. This is bound to be a good idea and not a disaster at all. Everyone selects a holiday romcom from a list prior to the date of the party and must reenact the pinnacle moment from that storyline with real people they know without ever explaining that it is just for the spirit of the holidays. Maybe this means chasing an ex-lover through the airport or traveling across the world to stop a wedding. The best part is the very real emotions this type of get together will rouse in its attendees.