We all have our own story. Everyone has been through something at some point in their life.

One can not simply assume that everyone's lives are the same; we never truly know what someone is going through. Even the strongest people can put up a poker face and you would never think anything could possibly be wrong.

After years of experience, I have become the master of putting on a poker face due to my eating disorder. A life with an eating disorder is a life that is extremely different from everyone else's. My life with an eating disorder has destroyed me in more ways than one but simultaneously built me up to reveal my inner strength. Now, it is time to say goodbye.

Just like how everyone's lives are different, every eating disorder is different. You simply cannot compare one to another and I'm not going to. However, anyone who has an eating disorder knows the complications that come along with it.

I wish I could describe to you the overwhelming, depressing feeling my eating disorder has brought upon me. It is a feeling that completely consumes you in every single way you can think of.

It made me completely insecure about everything in my life. It is almost like there is a black cloud over your head 24/7, but you just can't pinpoint exactly what is weighing you down.

I would never wish that feeling upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. This feeling has prevented me from doing simple things in my life like simply going out with my friends, going to the beach, and basically living my life. After four years of living with this feeling, I was ready to fight it.

I was convincing myself this was going to be the rest of my life. I did not even have a memory of the last time I was truly and genuinely happy. However, I could not let myself lose this internal battle. I refused. It took me four years to realize I was stronger than the inner demon I was fighting inside of me. It took four years of fighting to get where I am now.

There is always some positive guilt that comes along with saying goodbye to your inner demon. After living with this overwhelming feeling for so long, you truly don't know how you should feel. You almost feel like you don't deserve to feel happy or shouldn't let go. It took me a while to accept the fact that this was really goodbye, but I'm glad I am turning the page in this chapter of my life.

My eating disorder broke me down only to build me back up. I learned to accept and love myself for who I am and who I am going to be. Weirdly enough, I can thank my eating disorder for helping me recognize my inner strength again.

I am a firm believer that God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers, and I can confidently walk away saying I am now a strong soldier.

This is not a see you later, but a final goodbye. My life will not suck without you.