You never know what you have, until it's gone-- a common saying, although a bit overused, to the extent where it has somewhat lost the value behind it. And yet there is a reason why it is a phrase repeated so often. We are creatures of habit. We get into a particular schedule of living, where we see the same people, go to the same places, and do the same things-- which doesn't have to be a bad thing, life would be hectic if things were always changing. But it can lead to taking things for granted, because we kind of just assume that's how it's always going to be.
I haven't really had to say a lot of goodbyes in my life, at least not formal ones. I've lived in the same town all my life, only moving last year away for university, so probably the biggest set of goodbyes I had was graduating high school. One of my best friends was moving to the other side of the country, and that was probably the hardest goodbye, because I knew I wasn't going to see her very often compared to the rest of my good friends which I knew I could visit when I returned home on holidays. And it felt awful. It seemed as though the train of making memories together had suddenly come to a halt, and yet at the same time that seemed impossible. How could something so good come to an end?
This last week I got the news that one of my good friends here at university is transferring away to another college, and that same feeling came again: the disbelief that there won't be any more memories together, that the normal day-to-day won't have them in it anymore. It's a little different this time however, because I just met my friend at the start of this year, and so it feels like I'm being robbed of time together with them. Everyone kind of accepts that after graduation people get married and go their own ways, and although people stay friends, you obviously don't see each other as often. But it feels like you're supposed to at least have the next couple years with all the people you're used to having around-- and suddenly when that isn't true, it seems unfair.
And yet, I think that's the way life has to be. If we were guaranteed all the time in the world with everyone we care about, we probably wouldn't value the time we have together nearly as much. Losing almost accentuates the value of having, even though it's painful. I guess being so caught off guard has emphasized the idea that I need to be grateful for the people around me each day, because you can never really know what tomorrow holds. Kris, we're going to miss you.
[Sidenote: A few days after I wrote this, I found out that things didn't pan out for my friend's transfer, so he actually is staying (yay!). However, this experience really demonstrated to me that you really never know what is going to happen, and re-emphasized the importance in valuing eachmoment, because you don't ever really know what changes lie ahead.]
