So you’ve got someone leaving you for a very long time. Maybe it’s a friend who’s out chasing their dreams, or family who’s heading out to college. You’ve had a lot of good times, bad times, and times in between where you’re not really sure what’s going on. The bottom line is it’s just been too good with them to ever live without them. At least that’s what it feels like, but you can’t hold onto them forever. Everyone needs to say goodbye, and if you’re anything like me, it’s the most gut wrenching, terrifying thing ever. I could never do it right until I devised the SEEYA method. Each letter stood for a step in moving on.
1. Scream
This step is the easiest and self-explanatory. Take this for example. You and your friend are playing a board game. You’re in the zone. You’re ready to lose. All of a sudden the game is over, and your friend turns to you and says, “I got the job! I’m going to New York!” Your heart stops, and you feel every emotion all at once. What do you do to mask your hot anger from your beloved friend? You scream. You say loud things like, “Nice. Great. That’s awesome.” As happy as you are for them getting a wonderful opportunity, it’s still a great big sucker punch to you, but there’s no way you’d tell them the truth. No way. Of course, another thing you can do is scream in your head while you do the next step.
2. Escape
After the news is told and you did a little screaming out loud or in your head, it’s time to escape. Excuse yourself from the situation. You need time to cope with it alone. You need time to talk to yourself in your head and get a grip. You will need this step. You feel mad, happy, betrayed, excited, and other emotions. Don’t skip it, but don’t take too long in it either.
3. Evil Plotting
Evil plotting is the time to bring out that secret super villain. This is the worst of the steps. You want your friend to succeed, but at the same time you don’t want them to leave forever. You scheme. You think of things that will get them to stay like breaking their leg by pushing them out of a tree, calling their work and impersonating a celebrity to get them fired before they even start, or selling your soul. All terrible things. Though you may be thinking it, don’t do it. The moment you even consider trying to actually do any of these things, you need to reevaluate yourself as a person.
4. Yahoo
Yahoo is about having fun. With not a lot of time left, spend time with the person you’ll be missing while you can. People tend to forget that wallowing in self-pity is not always the answer. You can only hold a grudge for so long before you realize it was dumb. The moment this person leaves, who knows when you’ll see them again? Enjoy yourself and make memories before they’re gone forever.
5. Acceptance
The last and final step is acceptance. You know what that means. Reality sets in. Your friend is leaving and leaving for a long time. “It’s not the end of the world,” you think to yourself, and it’s not. They’ll still be there, and you’ll always be there for them. Sure, there’s going to be a couple hundred miles between you two, but it’s the 21st century; you can send a message at the press of a button.
If you follow all these steps, then saying adieu may be just a little easier. And when that person is gone, you’ve said the last thing that actually needs to be said: “Goodbye."
