Sorry, Good Intentions Don't Make You A Good Person

Sorry, Good Intentions Don't Make You A Good Person

In a results-based world, what you intend doesn't matter.
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In my experience of being a human, I have often heard the phrase, “they have good intentions” being used to describe a nice, unselfish person. However, I will try to explain why good intentions don’t mean a goddamn thing for us Homo sapiens.

Unlike most animals (I’m not exactly a Darwinian), the concept of natural selection doesn’t exactly apply to us. Natural selection, for the purposes of my own argument, equates to the intentions of nature in working toward one goal. This goal, to survive, may be selfish but is more or less always achieved as species continue to grow and adapt to their surroundings.

It can be argued that humans have more intentions than just biological survival, such as emotional satisfaction and spiritual aspirations. This is obviously debatable and I do think it’s quite possible for humans to only care about their own survival. As such, every action performed is done in order to survive. However, there are actions that suggest otherwise, most noticeably suicide, the action of taking one’s own life. It is a direct contradiction to survival. For this reason and some others that I won’t go into, I do believe humans have greater intentions than just surviving.

The point of this spiel was to show that I believe the intentions of humans are generally unknown; it’s practically impossible to know the exact intentions of another person. It is even, to some extent, due to our subconscious, impossible to know your own intentions. For me, the only way to know the intentions of someone is to assume we are like animals and everything we do is to increase our chances of survival.

Therefore, without knowing anyone’s true intentions, I don’t think it’s possible to say they are good or bad. This is the first reason why I think “good intentions” are bogus. But even if we were able to understand the intentions of others, we run into the problem of defining “good," for what might be beneficial to someone may be detrimental to someone else. With this in mind, “good intentions” should imply that your intended actions should benefit someone else.

Alright, so let’s run with this definition that “good intentions” equals trying to help others. The key part here is trying, for intentions are different than results. And my question to you is, does it matter what someone intends if the results are different? No. If you try to help someone but turn out hurting them, you could say you had good intentions, but the net result is still negative.

You can see I have a problem with judging someone based on their intentions rather than their results. For example, there might be some people in Congress who believe the bills they’re passing are helpful to the American people. Yet, if they turn out not to help Americans, then their good intentions are all for naught.

Good can only come from results, not intentions. It also doesn’t help that we can hardly decide what our intentions are, especially when so many actions seem to contradict the well-being of others and ourselves. I don’t care what your intentions are. If you truly help others, then you are a good person.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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I Woke up In The Middle Of The Night To Write About My Fears, They're Worse Than The Dark

One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

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It is one of those nights when I am tired, but for some reason, I can't seem to fall asleep. So, what do I do? I pull out my laptop, and I begin to write. Who knows where it will lead. It could lead to a killer article or something that does not make sense. I mean it is almost 2 A.M. In my mind, that's pretty late.

Anyways, let's do this thing.

Like many people, thoughts seem to pile up in my head at this time. It could be anything from a time when I was younger to embarrassing stories to wondering why I am "wasting" my time somewhere to thoughts about the future. All of these things come at me like a wildfire. One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

The thought that is going through my mind as I write this is about the future. It's about the future of my fears. Let me explain. I have multiple fears. Some of my fears I can hide pretty well, others I am terrible at hiding. My fears may seem silly to some. While others might have the same fears. Shall we start?

1. My career

I don't know where to begin with this one. For as long as I can remember, my consistent dream job has been working in the world of sports, specifically hockey. A career in sports can be and is a challenging thing. The public eye is on you constantly. A poor trade choice? Fans are angry. Your team sucks? "Fans" are threatening to cheer for someone else if you can't get your sh*t together. You can be blamed for anything and everything. Whether you are the coach, general manager, owner, it does not matter. That's terrifying to me, but for some reason, I want to work for a team.

2. My family

Julie Fox

Failing with my family, whether that be the family I was born into or my future family, it terrifies me. I have watched families around me fall apart and I have seen how it has affected them. Relationships have fallen apart because of it. I have heard people talk about how much they hate one of their parents because of what happened. I don't want that.

3. Time

This could be a dumb fear. I'm not sure, but I fear time. With every minute that passes, I am just another minute closer to the end. With every day that passes that I am not accomplishing goals or dreams I have, I am losing precious time. It scares me to think of something horrible like "What if I die tomorrow because of something horrific?" or even worse, "What if I don't make it through today?" It's terrible, I know.

4. Forgetting precious memories

When I was younger, I had brain surgery. It is now much harder for me to remember things. I am truly terrified that I am going to forget things I will want to hold close to me forever, but I won't be able to. I am scared I'll forget about the little things that mean a lot. I'm afraid of forgetting about old memories that may disappear. I'm worried that I'll forget about something like my wedding day. That might seem out of this world, but it's a reality for me.

5. Saying "goodbye"

I hate saying bye. It is one of my least favorite things. Saying bye, especially to people I don't know when I'll see again, is a stab in the heart for me. I love my people so much. I love being around them. I love laughing with them. Thought of never having a hello with them again scares me beyond belief.

6. Leaving places that I love

Alright, let me start off by saying this- it takes a lot for me to love a place. It has to feel like home. It has to make me feel comfortable. It has to be a place I can go to and be myself. Thankfully, I have had and still have multiple places that are like that. I have also had places I could not wait to leave. I think that's why leaving places I love is so hard and something I fear so much. I am afraid I'll never get that place "back", for lack of a better term. I guess, I'm trying to say, it's like a piece of me is leaving as well.




These six things are just the start of my fears. Some of these might seem "dumb" or "ridiculous" to you, but for me, it's my life. These are the things that I think about the most. These are the things that feel like a pit in my stomach. These six things are parts of my life that mean a lot to me.

Cover Image Credit:

Emily Heinrichs

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F*Ck Getting A 'Revenge Body' For Him, Lift Those ​Weights​ For Yourself, Girl

If they didn't appreciate you before those rock hard abs, do they really deserve you after?

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I cannot count the number of times I have overheard girls my age at the gym say, "He's going to come crawling back after he sees my revenge body," (sadly, I have said this exact statement before around a year ago). Thinking about this phrase literally gives me flashbacks and makes me cringe #Yikes.

Why did a breakup or post-fling make you want to get that "perfect" bod? Are they honestly the ONLY reason you want to start getting into shape and help your overall health? You're basically forcing yourself to struggle through something just in case they make their way back, but what if they don't?

Around a year ago, after my senior year, I — sad, post "almost relationship" Amber — vowed to make a change and get that boy back. A change that would make him think, "Damn, why did I ever leave her?" kind of change. So, I decided I'd pay that $20 a month (that could've been spent on four good cups of coffee) to get a "revenge body." I worked SO hard for around a month, only thinking of him when stepping onto that daunting treadmill. Doing intense cardio to the point where my vision would get blurry.

He was so worth it, right? WRONG.

I eventually realized I needed to give up on this "revenge body" because I wasn't enjoying eating lettuce every day, let alone going blind from intense exercise. As many people do, he moved on pretty fast, which literally made everything I was putting my all into "worthless" in a sense. I'm happy I didn't keep up this work because I would've seen this body as a waste of time when he didn't "hit me up" months later.

I gave up because I thought, "What's the point if he isn't coming back?"

That was my issue, right there. I wanted to change my appearance in order to make someone want me, but they shouldn't have to be forced back into my life, they should WANT to be there.

I wanted to gain strength in order to make someone jealous when I should've given myself this incredible strength.

It took me a whole year to realize I wanted to get fit for my own wellbeing and not for someone who doesn't give a sh*t. Currently, I have lost 16lbs in two months because I wanted it. I needed this change to boost my self-esteem and the outlook I had on myself. Not to get a boy back who honestly isn't going to give me a second glance when I go back to school in the fall.

A man who chose not to be with you doesn't deserve any aspect of you, let alone your new "hot body."

Girl, if they didn't appreciate you before those rock-hard abs, do they really deserve you after? You owe it to YOURSELF to feel incredible and badass when walking around campus and winking at cute strangers (that's a joke, please don't do that).

Don't push yourself in a direction just so an insignificant person may slide back into your DMs once school starts up again. We're better than that. Do it for yourself, not for him.

When I'm at the gym and I glance at myself in the mirror while sweating profusely, I don't wonder what someone else will think, I think, "Damn, I look freaking incredible, and it's all because I wanted it."

But who knows, maybe you'll find Mr. Right at the gym!

Now go squat 100lbs, make that damn kale smoothie, and take some bomb-ass selfies (for your own benefit, of course).

Cover Image Credit:

123rf

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