Frat parties are arguably the best and worst parts of the typical college experience. They're filled with an excess of freshman girls, dark corners, debatable decor, rickety basement stairs, a plethora of unidentifiable liquids covering the floor, and the worst dancing you'll ever see. But, the memories made before, during and after are always worth the destruction of your designated "frat shoes". Here is a definitive list of what it's really like to go out as told by New Girl.
1. The Text
This is where it all begins. It's the glorious moment when you're sitting, minding your own business and all of the sudden your phone lights up. Your favorite frat boy has sent the pledge ride numbers for the night and you couldn't be happier.
2. Choosing Your Outfit
Choosing an outfit is never easy, let alone when you're about to spend a few hours in a hot, stuffy basement (and it's the middle of January so you don't know whether or not tank tops are still allowed). It's even worse when the frat has a theme that you have absolutely no clothes for. Or when you realize that all the time you spent avoiding laundry has really hampered your selection of jeans and crop tops.
3. Taking Pictures
All college girls, myself included, are guilty of taking "those pics". You know the ones: candids of you and your friends in front of an artistic, aesthetically pleasing tapestry or in front of the cinderblock walls of your dorm hall. Regardless of how similar every picture looks for every party, you take a million and post one the next morning, eagerly hoping it will rack up more likes than the last.
4. The Arrival
The pledge ride pulls up next to the "establishment" that is the frat house. You get out of the car and walk into the house and you're immediately greeted by sweaty frat boys, questionably dressed girls, and the sweet sounds of a 2000s hit blaring on the stereo.
5. The Dance Floor
If you're lucky, they'll play your favorite song. Every frat has its iconic song. The one that comes on at every single party and never fails to get you and your friends to the middle of the floor or on top of the nearest elevated surface. If the song isn't Come On Eileen, Ignition (Remix), or Party in the USA, then you're doing it wrong.
6. The Environment
Frat basements are, without a doubt, the grossest place you'll ever step foot. Your converse are most definitely ruined within seconds of walking in and you almost always step in something unidentifiable that makes you want to squirm. My biggest question is: do frat boys own any type of cleaning materials?
7. The Boys
There are four experiences every girl has had while at a party. First, you take in all of the frat boys around you. Some may come up to you and try and talk. If you're anything like me, you probably have zero idea what to say but are really just proud that you made it through the conversation without passing out. You may even attempt to flirt and tell them fun facts about you but that hardly ever goes the right way.
Second, every girl experiences the complete rage when "cute boy with the vineyard vines shirt" that you mentally ~claimed~ as yours is spotted talking to the girl in a skirt that is way too small for her. You may even feel the need to fight her, but your friends are there to hold you back.
Third, usually the funniest and most awkward experiences are when, all of the sudden, you turn around and some super uncomfortable couple is making out right behind you. All you can do is laugh, take a candid snap of you third wheeling, and then walk away.
Lastly, every girl has the panicked moment when they begin to fear that they will truly be single forever because there are severely slim pickings at frat houses. Leave it to your best friends to pull you back together and remind you how much of a rockstar you are.
8. The Departure and Immediate Feasting
Once the basement has become too much, you and your friends quickly evacuate and make it back to your dorm. Almost immediately, food, the greasier the better, is ordered. In just one sitting I've seen a girl take down a pizza, mozzarella sticks and a quesadilla. It's natural.
9. The Stories
My absolute favorite part of the weekends is retelling all of the comical and embarrassing stories that took place. Whether your best friend fell down the stairs and now has a bruise the size of Texas on her butt or you saw your neighbor kissing that one kid from your stat class, the stories are endless. The best ones never spare any detail and almost always include boys.
10. The Morning After
The morning after is always a rude awakening no matter how late you roll out of bed. No matter the case, your hair is always a mess, your makeup is half intact, your sweats look frumpier than ever, and the bags under your eyes could be considered duffel bags they're so big. But, you manage to get out of bed and down to the dining hall for breakfast so you can fuel up and get ready for another day of doing what you do best.
