To Anyone Going Through A Heartbreak, It's Important To Remember What You Are Thankful For

To Anyone Going Through A Heartbreak, It's Important To Remember What You Are Thankful For

People will come and go but what the rest of your life holds is patiently waiting for you.

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When we are hurt or going through a rough patch it is so easy to fall into the pit of not knowing your self-worth. We sit around drowning our brain with negative thoughts and wishing for things we do NOT need. Stop playing that sad song on repeat, stop watching tear-jerker movie and get out and do something. Or at least sit and think about all the amazing things you do have going for you.

Next time you are feeling like this try to think about what you do have in your life instead of fixating on what you lost.

Think about your career, school or whatever you have that you are working towards these days. Remember how much work you have put into your goals thus far and don't let anything throw that off track. People will come and go but what the rest of your life holds is patiently waiting for you.

And if you are just starting out with your goals remind yourself about the light at the end of the tunnel and everything will pay off. Just keep going, dig deep and use that drive.

Think about your family. Which for many is also your biggest support system. You know, the people with unwavering belief in everything you do? Your family has been there for you since day one. They know you, remember that. When your family is giving you advice no matter how backward it sounds it's coming from a good place.

Your family has seen you evolve, they understand your potential like no one else, trust their judgment. And always remember they are your blood and you have a bond to them like no one else.

Think about your friends. These are the people first in line to snap you out of your funk. Friends may live far and near but they are the first to show up when something bad happens.

They will remind you of your beauty, your strength and all the things you deserve in this world. But they are also the first to maybe give you the reality check that you desperately need. But most importantly they may be your best distraction. Don't segregate yourself from the world, reach out to friends they will help you through.

Think about your dreams. The things you never thought you could do. Take this time, these emotions and try to make them a reality. When something ends it is giving time for something new to blossom. Yes, you have careers and school or whatever else you do on a daily basis but there are bigger things you yearn for. That thing that you just assume could never happen because it isn't "practical" or whatever excuse you give yourself.

Why can't you do it? Take this time for self-discovery and see what else is out there for you.

But most importantly think about YOU. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and for some reason you needed to go through this. There is nothing wrong with you and this is just a little bump in the road in the comparison to everything you're going to do in life.

No one is more important than you reaching your goals or your own happiness. And you deserve to be happy. Sometimes we have to be selfish and put ourselves first to find our meaning. Don't feel guilty for that.

I am one of these people. I do tend to keep everything bottled in and just wreck my brain with pure negativity. But with a conscious effort, I am trying to think of all the good things I have in life. It will take time and it will not be easy. But I will get there.

You should try too. You are amazing, you are strong and you are resilient. But most importantly you are loved and cared for, you may just have to sit down and remind yourself about that sometimes.

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.
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Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things.

If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize, and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity toward this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs.

In a world where a six-figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm...

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

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Pride? Pride.

Who are we? Why are we proud?

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This past week, I was called a faggot by someone close to me and by note, of all ways. The shock rolled through my body like thunder across barren plains and I was stuck paralyzed in place, frozen, unlike the melting ice caps. My chest suddenly felt tight, my hearing became dim, and my mind went blank except for one all-encompassing and constant word. Finally, after having thawed, my rage bubbled forward like divine retribution and I stood poised and ready to curse the name of the offending person. My tongue lashed the air into a frenzy, and I was angry until I let myself break and weep twice. Later, I began to question not sexualities or words used to express (or disparage) them, but my own embodiment of them.

For members of the queer community, there are several unspoken and vital rules that come into play in many situations, mainly for you to not be assaulted or worse (and it's all too often worse). Make sure your movements are measured and fit within the realm of possible heterosexuality. Keep your music low and let no one hear who you listen to. Avoid every shred of anything stereotypically gay or feminine like the plague. Tell the truth without details when you can and tell half-truths with real details if you must. And above all, learn how to clear your search history. At twenty, I remember my days of teaching my puberty-stricken body the lessons I thought no one else was learning. Over time I learned the more subtle and more important lessons of what exactly gay culture is. Now a man with a head and social media accounts full of gay indicators, I find myself wondering both what it all means and more importantly, does it even matter?

To the question of whether it matters, the answer is naturally yes and no (and no, that's not my answer because I'm a Gemini). The month of June has the pleasure of being the time of year when the LGBT+ community embraces the hateful rhetoric and indulges in one of the deadly sins. Pride. Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, the figures at the head of the gay liberation movement, fought for something larger than themselves and as with the rest of the LGBT+ community, Pride is more than a parade of muscular white men dancing in their underwear. It's a time of reflection, of mourning, of celebration, of course, and most importantly, of hope. Pride is a time to look back at how far we've come and realize that there is still a far way to go.

This year marks fifty years since the Stonewall Riots and the gay liberation movement launched onto the world stage, thus making the learning and embracing of gay culture that much more important. The waves of queer people that come after the AIDS crisis has been given the task of rebuilding and redefining. The AIDS crisis was more than just that. It was Death itself stalking through the community with the help of Regan doing nothing. It was going out with friends and your circle shrinking faster than you can try or even care to replenish. Where do you go after the apocalypse? The LGBT+ community was a world shut off from access by a touch of death and now on the other side, we must weave in as much life as we can.

But we can't freeze and dwell of this forever. It matters because that's where we came from, but it doesn't matter because that's not where we are anymore. We're in a time of rebirth and spring. The LGBT+ community can forge a new identity where the AIDS crisis is not the defining feature, rather a defining feature to be immortalized, mourned, and moved on from.

And to the question of what does it all mean? Well, it means that I'm gay and that I've learned the central lesson that all queer people should learn in middle school. It's called Pride for a reason. We have to shoulder the weight of it all and still hold our head high and we should. Pride is the LGBT+ community turning lemons into lemon squares and limoncello. The lemon squares are funeral cakes meant to mourn and be a familiar reminder of what passed, but the limoncello is the extravagant and intoxicating celebration of what is to come. This year I choose to combine the two and get drunk off funeral cakes. Something tells me that those who came before would've wanted me to celebrate.

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