A few months ago I stopped going to church.

At first, it was because my car broke down and had to be sold for parts, and a $20 Uber drive one way was just too expensive to do every week. But then, I bought a new car and I still didn't go back for several months.

Somewhere in those few months, I had a 24-hour span where the question, "What if there is no God?" hit me - but it wasn't in a panic, it was an odd, peaceful question.

And at the end of the 24 hours, I had this answer "I still get to be me in all my creativity, joy and integrity--even if there is no God."

But I do believe in an elusive Higher Power.

I hate calling it "God" because it puts the concept in this preconceived box of what ever God may be. At least the phrase "Higher Power" leaves spacious room for the concept/entity to breathe.

Part of the problem (of not going to church even after I bought a new car) was I grew up in the Christian church and came to the realization that I will probably never identify with calling myself a "Christian."

From my understanding, Christians believe that Jesus is the son of God, died for our sins and rose again. And in order to become one, you must believe he is your personal savior, and he is the son of God. And I feel like the subtext is "you have to believe this is the only way to be a good person, to be redeemed, in order to join our group."

Maybe that is too much of an assumption - but doesn't he say he is the way, the truth, and the life and that no one comes to the father (God/Higher Power) except through him? (John 14:6)

The problem is, I believe all religions are man's way of pointing to the exact same truth - a higher calling other than our selfish individualism. It is all a tool to show us how to live better, and that we are all connected, we are all human, we are all whole exactly the way we are.

Arguably, maybe not all religions say exactly that, but I believe if you boil down all the essence of the teachings these are the ideas they are all attempting to point to.

I just cannot say I believe Jesus is the only way - I think there are many ways to learn how to be a good person and figure out this strange gift called "life" we have been given for a short time.

So for me, church is a bit similar to counseling, or school. Sometimes, you just don't want to admit you need it, and you may not even agree with everything your counselors or teachers say, but in the end, you have a really good chance of walking away a little more enlightened than when you began.

So, today I went back to church.

And to be honest, before I went, for the past few months, I have been dragging my feet to go back. I don't know exactly how to put words to it, I think I was afraid I just didn't belong anymore.

But, I walked through the doors and familiar music played. I didn't necessarily agree with all the lyrics, but it was comforting all the same. And then the sermon - I forgot how down to earth Andy Stanley is and how he is constantly writing his sermons for everyone, not just Christians. It is always relatable, useful information that helps make life better.

After the sermon, I had two different people who I had met before check up on me and ask how I was doing - and honestly, it was so nice.

While I may not agree with all of the ideas that Christianity can portray - I can get behind going to a place to get information to be a better person and have a safe, growing community around you. I realize I still get to have all of my personal beliefs and also interact with the church community to glean the wisdom available.

A thing I have come to terms with recently is that I am a person that gets easily depressed without the right formula of self-care in my life. The epiphany I had recently was that since I moved to Georgia, and before I left, church was the single biggest factor in alleviating my depressive symptoms.

When I was going to church regularly, once a week I got to volunteer and learn cameras/directing - which is directly connected to the career I would like to have when I graduate.

Once a week, I was getting a free lesson on how to improve my life, and I was doing so in a community of people who were invested in the same thing. I saw familiar faces and had little conversations that reminded me I was loved and never alone.

When I left, I lost all of that, and now I am ready to get it back.

Church is not the only self-care I am reclaiming, but it is the most helpful I have found over the years thus far. I am also going to start exercising regularly, drinking more water and eating more natural foods.

But church just has this thing that I can't feed through another means.

So, I plan on staying in church because it is comforting and gives amazing wisdom and community that you can't really quite get anywhere else - even as someone who does not identify as a Christian.