I see articles all of the time about "relationship goals." The truth is, I don't have goals -- I have expectations. A man will never be perfect. A man will never fill the void in your heart that only Jesus Christ can fill. To be quite honest with you, it isn't fair for a woman to expect a man to "complete" her. It feels like everyone around me is either close to being engaged, engaged, or married. I have to remind myself frequently that it is okay to wait. If you are not genuinely happy in your singleness, you will not be happy even if you are married to the very best man on earth. As women of God, we must look for the fruit of the Spirit in the men we entertain. That being said, I sat down with God the other day and made myself a realistic set of expectations I have for my future husband:
1. My future husband must put God first.
And I'm not talking about just believing in God. I'm talking about putting actions behind that faith. He must be faithful to the House of The Lord, join me in prayer, and find his strength in God. My future husband must live what he claims he believes.
2. He must be kind.
This sounds like a no brainer, right? Kindness isn't always in the large gestures. Usually, kindness is found in the small things in life. It is feeding a stray dog, holding the door open for someone, or just offering someone a smile. Kindness goes a long way in this world.
3. He must love my parents, and my parents must love him.
My mother and father mean the world to me. My sincerest hope is that the man I marry will have my mother and father's blessing.
4. My future husband must be a hard worker.
I don't expect wealth or fine things; I just expect him to be a hard worker. Now, don't get me wrong, being a hard worker and a workaholic are two different things. I don't want someone who is a slave to his job, but rather someone who does his very best to provide for his family.
5. My future husband must be bold enough to speak up when he feels as if I am making a mistake.
I'll be the first to tell you that I am stubborn. Having his support is huge, but I also would like honesty given in kindness. Having a man that will tell me his concerns in a loving way, and not in a demeaning way, is a huge deal to me. I probably won't appreciate you being honest with me at first, but after about thirty minutes, I'll understand that you were right in your observation.
6. My future husband must have similar political views as me.
This makes things less messy. We don't have to agree on everything, just the big things.
7. He must allow me to speak.
This sounds silly, of course, but having a man beside you that genuinely cares about your thoughts, your views, and your opinion means a lot. Having a man that wants your input is a blessing.
8. My future husband should make me laugh.
Life is serious, but it's not that serious. Laughter is good for the soul.
9. He must take care of his body.
I don't mean that he must have a six pack or work out twice a day. Physical beauty is fleeting. Rather than being obsessed with looks, I expect my future husband to understand and respect that his body is the temple of God. This means staying active and not drinking his life away. This means respecting his body.
10. He must pursue me.
Before dating, while dating, when we are engaged, and after we are married -- he must pursue me.
11. And finally, my future husband must be a family man.
At the end of the day, I want him to want to come home. Nothing is ever perfect, but having someone that'll stick with you through the hard times is so important.
