"Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways." Proverbs 20:30
For a long time, I noticed I would always ask the question "Why me, God?" when things went south. Not just in relationships, necessarily, but in life. I have failed about a million times, and I have been played for a fool about a million and one. I have trusted people who have betrayed me, and I have fallen head over heels for boys that did not put an ounce of value in all that makes me, me.
Not until recently have I noticed the positive effects of pain. I have grown exponentially in my faith in the past year or so. God has given me more wisdom and insight about my insecurities, my body image issues and my quarrels with others than He has my whole life. It almost seems as if these have had no negative effect on me, I was able to handle everything with grace and forgiveness. I am just diving head first into these challenges saying "Try me" because I know what God is doing.
A few years back I met a girl at Walmart, of all places, and she had the most beautiful saying tattooed on her forearm. It read "Trust your struggle." It has stuck with me ever since. I have been fighting so many battles in my life. Most of them stem from simply not feeling good enough being just the way I was made. I have gone through several cycles of losing weight, gaining it back again, having a terrible relationship with food, repeat. I went through an agonizing break-up with someone I spent nearly five years of my life with. I was searching and searching for validation and happiness in inept places. I was empty, and I hated myself.
At the time when these things took place, I really questioned my purpose and my value. I never really felt like I meant anything to anyone. When I discovered God's love for me, that all changed.
You see, I believe in this thing called "divine purpose." Basically, God always has you in the palm of His hand. Yeah, he granted us free will, of course, but He takes the mistakes we have made and the insecurities we harbor and turns them into beautiful circumstances. We all have this tool called our "testimony," Christians will especially identify with this.
We struggle with what we struggle with, because later in life, it's going to help us do something beautiful.
This looks different for everybody, and it takes a while for God to reveal what He is doing through these struggles and roadblocks. This is called your purpose! I know for me personally, I struggled a lot with accepting myself and loving myself for who I am. I never thought I had any special talent, or that I deserved the best life could give me. It wasn't until God stepped into my life and reconstructed my thoughts. Now, I enjoy so many things, and I am great at these things.
Now, I realize I am my greatest lover. (Besides the Holy Creator, of course!) I am able to go day to day not accepting less than what I deserve in every aspect of this earthly life because I have been gifted the greatest love known to man. After that, I tend to not put up with being thrown to the dogs.
God is never going to throw something in your path that you can't handle or that won't serve a purpose later on. This life is a beautiful one, no matter the circumstances. There's always something to look forward to. Don't give up on that hope.
Most importantly, trust your struggle. It was given to you for a reason.
