A blonde haired little boy with a life vest draped around his small frame trembled as he stood on the three meter diving board. "I can't do it, I'm scared," Grant whimpered, starting to climb back down the tall tower. I immediately stopped him. "You can't go back down, buddy," I stated apologetically. Unbeknownst to many of our patrons, the pool rules forbid climbing back down the high dive ladder due to an accident that occurred a few years back. "We can't allow you to do that, it's one of our rules. You have to jump or call someone over to carry you down." I elaborated, attempting to explain why a nice lifeguard like me would force him to face his phobia of heights.
I stood there, simply feeling horrible and looking down at my feet as he remained on the brink of tears. How could I ever convince this young child to attempt such a great feat? Jumping from heights even intimidates me, someone about 17 years older than him. A brave student then ran over and exclaimed, "I'll jump off with you!" The kid hesitantly grabbed her hand, cautiously plunged into the water from the lofty platform, and then surfaced, his face shimmering with a smile that stretched wide across his face. Not only did this moment make my day, but God also taught me a valuable lesson about facing our fears.
Fear affects everyone
Even the most dauntless people carry some sort of uneasiness or apprehension. Fear remains a powerful force that prevents even the strongest, most determined individuals from carrying out their purpose.
Most people harbor rational phobias of spiders or public speaking. In contrast, I fear something very abstract that many people don't understand — disappointment. People who know me well might believe that I'm always bubbly and optimistic, but that is not necessarily the case. While I try focusing on the positive, I carry an intense fear of letting both myself and others down. I often take risks and experiment with new things in my life, but this anxiety also prevents me from venturing into the unknown if things do not turn out as I expect.
For example, I continue pursuing a journalism major, but I almost walked away from it — twice in the same year — after facing rejection countless times from campus media positions I applied for. All the times people told me "you can't lead a team of writers because you're too introverted," caused me to feel highly discouraged and almost give up on my dreams because I became severely disappointed with myself and thought I was a failure as a journalist.
This fear of failure additionally hinders me academically. I constantly push myself too hard because an A minus appears unsatisfactory to me as a perfectionist and feel that even a B will tarnish the reputation of a stellar scholar I work so hard to maintain. Since I participate in many activities — campus media, Symphonic Winds, and two different jobs — I also frequently worry that I cannot produce excellent work in each of these areas. This anxiety further contributes to the belief that I disappoint others around me.
Due to the shame I experience, I often isolate myself and avoid those who I feel I let down. There have been times I did not communicate with a couple close friends or my family for over a couple of weeks because I felt like they would tell me how I'm not living up to my full potential.
Friends and family often tell us that fear is all a mental game and we just have to push past our comfort zone. In some cases, this is not very difficult at all, such as in the scenario with the little boy I experienced. However, many phobias linger deep inside our souls and adhere to our inner beings like an eternal virus that continually eats us alive until we can no longer function as our normal selves.
Combating fear
Fear is very real — ask anyone who's faced a life-or-death situation, abuse, or severe trauma. Fear is so intimidating because it is a consequence of our fallen world and also a tactic the enemy uses to deter us in our walk with God. The Bible actually describes fear itself as a spirit in 2 Timothy 1:7.
I'm taking leaps of faith this semester as I try new things, but navigating uncharted waters and raging seas completely terrifies me at times. Although I know God always supports me, anxiety still afflicts me sometimes and find myself alone in my room, holding my hands over my ears as I place my head down on my desk and sob uncontrollably.
Is it even possible to find a healthy balance of attempting to conquer these anxieties while also realizing that an individual needs time to heal and break past these barriers? Yes — however, we must approach our battle with fear one step at a time. A warrior does not face his enemy unprepared, and facing our darkest nightmares requires a similar tactic.
The power of scripture
The Holy Spirit brings peace if we ask, but another way to overcome fear is to meditate on scripture that will help bring peace. The Bible provides great reminders when we feel afraid, and I particularly found solace in Psalm 34. This is an individual psalm of thanksgiving David wrote before he faked lunacy before the Philistine king, Abimelech in 1 Samuel 21 due to his fear of being slain.
Psalm 34 New International Version (NIV)
Of David. When he pretended to be insane before Abimelek, who drove him away, and he left.
1 I will extol the Lord at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
2 I will glory in the Lord;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
3 Glorify the Lord with me;
let us exalt his name together.
4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
6 This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.
8 Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
9 Fear the Lord, you his holy people,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
11 Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
12 Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
13 keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from telling lies.
14 Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.
15 The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
and his ears are attentive to their cry;
16 but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
to blot out their name from the earth.
17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
19 The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the Lord delivers him from them all;
20 he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.
21 Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
22 The Lord will rescue his servants;
no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.
-From biblegateway.com
A psalm that specifically speaks to me is Psalm 91, so much that I placed sticker on my laptop that reads, "Under his wings you will find refuge." This chapter helps me visually recall how God will shelter me when I seek refuge and constantly watches over me as the Almighty One.
Psalm 91: 1-4 (NIV)
1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
3 Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
-From biblegateway.com
Other great verses outside the Psalms include Joshua 1:9, where God told Joshua to have courage because the Lord remained with him wherever he went, Matthew 6:34 which mentions how we should not become anxious about the future, and John 14:27, which describes how Jesus brings peace to the world.
The power of music
Listening to positive,encouraging, and peaceful music also can help ease anxieties. I recently discovered a new song the band For All Seasons recently wrote called "Bigger Than," which describes how God loves us so much and stays bigger than both our fears and dreams. I play this track whenever I feel like my fears hold me prisoner and bind me in unbreakable chains. This song additionally reminds me how the Holy Spirit provides peace when we feel our fears crush us and that we must trust God's plan for our lives in every situation we face each day, through both thick and thin.
" You are bigger than all my fears, God of love, God my love, You are bigger than all my dreams, God my hope, God my peace, whatever will come my way, through each day I will say, God I trust You…" - "Bigger Than" chorus lyrics by For All Seasons
"No Longer Slaves" by Bethel Music is another song that churches continue adopting as a worship tune due to its incredible message. Johnathan and Melissa Helser scripted these words, which describe how God rescued them from fear. These inspiring lyrics describe how sin no longer holds us in bondage since we remain children of the Most High God.
I'm no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God
-"No Longer Slaves" Chorus by Bethel Music
How others can help
Finally, friends and families also supply constant support when we need it most. My dad does not share the same fear of failing others as I do, and I told him about the ways these feelings enslave me. My parents now encourage me if they sense I am struggling with these worries and let me know I can all them whenever I need someone who will listen well. I have also confided in a few friends, who encourage me when I feel worthless.
A journey in search of courage
I've learned along my quest for courage that God stood by me the whole time and comforted me in the darkest hours of my life and also discovered that relying on God's strength is the only surefire way to escape fear's fiery furnace. I encourage you to try one of these methods, take one step at a time, and ask God to help you gradually confront your fears.
