The feeling of loneliness always finds its way back into my heart. It’s at a point where loneliness almost seems inevitable within my daily life, constantly eating me away into prolonged sadness.
Most of my friends go to schools within the Greater Seattle Area while I study over at Western Washington University about an hour an a half away in Bellingham. Because of that, I always have the fear of missing out, knowing everyone is making memories and doing things together that I can’t participate in. I go back home almost every weekend to get a glimpse of familiar faces so that I can get through another week of school, but it’s definitely never enough time.
In order to cope, I indulge myself in video games and porn to make myself feel good and important. What I didn’t realize was that I was running away from pain, trying to erase my emotions. I’m sure we’ve all experienced loneliness in a way that makes our hearts feel so heavy.
But God will always be with us.
No matter how broken we are, no matter how lonely we feel, God is always by our side.
It’s hard to imagine God being in our lives when he isn’t physically visible or tangible to us, but he’s always watching over us and cares for us when we go through hard times.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9 ESV
Throughout my life, I tried filling my voids of loneliness with different people. But the truth is, no one will be able to satisfy those needs, because nothing lasts forever. People come and go whether we like it or not. Everyone has their own journey to take, and sometimes those paths lead us to places far away from the people we care about. Only God can fill those voids with his eternal and unconditional love.
Even then, I am truly thankful for the friends that try and keep contact with me. It’s comforting to know that I have people who let me know that they’re thinking about me throughout the week.
The song "Jesus Lover Of My Soul" by Hillsong United best describes the relationship I want with for God:
“I love You, I need You
Though my world may fall, I'll never let You go
My Savior, my closest friend
I will worship You until the very end”
Even when I feel completely isolated, even though it hurts at times, even when I take those long walks to school, I know that I’m not alone. We are not alone.
