You’ve been gone for a while, and I’m sure a lot has changed. Some of us are in college, some have babies you’ve never met, some are getting married. It’s hard to believe it’s been 12 years since God called you home because a lot can happen in that time and you’re not here for it. I’m in college now and I’m no longer the 7-year-old I used to be. I’m all grown up now.

When you passed away, people cried. Some took it harder than others. It’s a tough pill to swallow that you really were gone. People hugged me and told me they’d pray for me, but I just didn’t understand. I didn’t want prayers, I wanted you back. How long does death last? Were you coming back? Can I go to heaven to see you? Unfortunately, reality set in and you weren’t coming back, and heaven is too far away for a plane ride.

It’s hard without you here. With every year that passes, I wish you were still around to see me grow. Christmas, Thanksgiving and all the other holidays we shared together just don’t feel the same without you here. No one is here to steal the Kit Kats out of my Halloween candy just like you used to. Sitting at the dinner table is hard because it’s the sinking feeling that we are missing someone. I bet heaven is beautiful and those holidays you spend there are fantastic. God is so lucky to have you spend holidays in heaven.

Life without you is hard. You were everyone’s go-to. You kept everyone entertained and laughing for hours. No one knew how to function without you here It just isn’t fair that God had other plans. Doesn’t God understand that we need you here too?

I’m more than thankful for the years I got to spend with you full of laughter and memories. I spent a long time angry at God for taking you away from me. Sometimes God takes people from us and we aren’t sure why. We constantly hear "God has a plan", but what kind of plan involves you being taken from us? The older I get, the more I realize that you were so awesome that God wanted to spend time with you too. You brought happiness to so many people here on Earth, who could blame him?

I’d do anything to be able to see you again, but you’re not sick, hurting or suffering anymore. God needed you much more than we needed you here. We'll never understand why, but God never gives us things we can't handle. I bet heaven is beautiful and I can’t wait for the day we are reunited. Until then, keep a close eye on me, angel.