You’re scrolling through Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, *insert social media here* and there’s a picture of a couple or a group of friends. Under the cleverly worded caption is a plethora of heart eyed emojis, fire emojis, and comments that consist of variations of “goals” over and over again. We all want to be that couple in the limelight and are seeking those comments of not just approval but praise.

But here’s the problem, you don’t know the whole story. You don’t see the arguments. You don’t see the fights. You don’t see the miscommunications. You don’t see the messy and “ugly” sides of the relationship. It’s easy to focus on what you see and are led to believe, but it’s hard to describe what is “#goals.”

Behind that picture is the fresh wound of words exchanged last night, just after the post was made. We, as humans, want to hide any flaw in ourselves. When we are in a relationship or a friendship, that desire for perfection and attention doesn't stop - it extends into every crevice of our lives. We are imperfect beings in the pursuit of perfection, but that's a goal that we can never reach. However, we are stuck in this mindset that if we date that guy or girl, get into that school, graduate with that major, drive that car, have that body, or get that job, that we will succeed. That we will be happy.

Behind that picture is the hidden scar which covers the place where anger burst from beneath the façade. It’s the scar that is kept hidden from the public in an attempt to hold onto this image, to hold onto this imaginary world that we are all trying to live in. We are told that this imaginary world is more ideal than any other that we could live in. But that’s not true. We claim to love each other, yet we don’t fully know each other if we only tell of the good. And how can you fully love someone if you don’t fully know them? When we get to know the bad, the wounds, the scars, the ugly, and the dirty little secrets, then we also get to love the broken, the discouraged, the hopeless. We get to share a love that is similar to none but One.

We are in constant competition against one another. We are in a competition to look prettier, be thinner, be funnier or smarter; a competition that runs nearly every thought and every move we make throughout the day. Even when I tell myself that I don’t care about what others think, I am still thinking about whether or not they know that I don’t care. I am still thinking if I would be considered goals in any definition of the word. At the end of the day, we can't escape this desire to be put up on a pedestal, whether it's on a social media platform or some other way.

But behind the picture is the loneliness. Behind the picture is the depression. Behind the picture are the nightmares. Behind the picture is everything that we would be ashamed for our society, our community, our friends, our family to find out.

Don't let your eyes deceive you. Don't let your mind tell you that in order to be happy you have to be praised. Be humble, be loving, be gracious. Be kind, be considerate, be welcoming. Most of all, be real. Don't let #goals determine the way that you live your life. You are more than a like, a comment, or a share.