You see, mail is a wonderful thing. Perhaps it is not as essential as it was before the modern age of electronics, but mail is still wonderful nonetheless. Just take a moment to think about all the wonderful things you can get in the mail: birthday cards, holiday cards, party invitations, wedding invitations, that old-school CD you ordered from Amazon. Who knows, you may even receive a special hand-written letter from one of your old-fashioned friends. Whatever it is the mail does for you, it's hard to deny that excitement you experience when you go to get the mail.
Now, I have made some bizarre choices in my life, but I am not going to sit here and make you read an entire article about all the great things you can get in the mail. People tend to already think I'm a little off in the head, and writing an entire article about mail and whatnot would surely erase any doubts they have. Rather, let's look at the bigger picture through a more philosophical lens when you walk out the door to "go get the mail."
Your girlfriend just broke up with you. That "dime" who just put you in the friend zone where you have a better chance of beating World 8 on Super Mario Bros blindfolded before you have a relationship with her? Or hey, who knows? Maybe you shot yourself in the foot and put yourself in the friend zone because you were too preoccupied to notice that Sally Sue actually liked you. You slipped up, you goofed, the universe did you dirty, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you've been spending the past few days, weeks, or months moping around the house and sulking in disappointment. You've become bitter, edgy, or what we millennials like to refer to as "salty." You've been sitting in your chair or on your bed watching Netflix or playing Call of Duty for hours on end. Your floor is considering suing you for abuse due to all those cans of Mountain Dew you've dropped and Doritos you've spilled everywhere. Your cat, Mr. Pickles, needs to be fed. You know what happens when you ignore a hungry cat.
In short, you feel like the universe is against you and that nothing will ever change. You firmly believe with all your heart that you will never find the girl of your dreams and that she will never find you.
I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I'm the love doctor and that I have all the answers. I'm not going to tell you that I can predict the future and that you will meet Mrs. Right in exactly 7 months and 28 days. However, I can tell you one thing with complete certainty that will increase your chances of finding your dream girl tenfold.
Go get the mail.
You see, this article isn't about the things you receive in the mail or how you're feeling bummed about a girl you had a thing for. Allow me to explain.
If you're looking for Mrs. Right, I can assure you that will never find her by sitting around your home all day feeling sorry and bitter. Your dream girl isn't going to suddenly come knocking on your door delivering that 4th pizza you just ordered. Nothing worth having will ever come served to you on a silver platter. Just think about it for a minute.
You literally have a better chance of meeting Mrs. Right by getting up, walking out the door, and going to get the mail than you do by sitting around feeling like a victim.
Mrs. Right will never know Mr. right even exists if you continue to stay inside to play that extra game of FIFA or Call of Duty. Mrs. Right will only know Mr. Right exists if she sees you, and there is no way she will be able to see you through drywall and a closed door.
What is the moral of the story you ask? It's simple; if you never put yourself back on the map, nobody will ever be able to find you. You only get out what you put in, and if you just put in another hour to play FIFA or Call of Duty Zombies feeling sorry for yourself, it's likely that your potential Mrs. Right just put an hour into her schedule to have dinner Saturday night with someone who isn't you.
Put that controller down, turn off the T.V., put some shoes on, and open the front door.
It's time to go get the mail.
