"For ye are bought with a price, therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are your future spouse's." (1 Corinthians 6:20)
Anyone with even a rudimentary knowledge of the Bible can see where I have misquoted the above verse. The actual scripture reads:
"For ye are bought with a price, therefore glorify God in your body and your spirit which are God's!" (1 Corinthians 6:20 emphasis mine)
Yet anyone who has been subject to conservative Christian teaching on purity is forced to admit that most Christian purity arguments go something like this:
a. It is God's intent for every Christian to marry someday.
b. He has chosen a spouse for each man/woman who consistently submits to His will.
c. The Proverbs 31 woman does her husband "good and not evil all the days of her life"
d. Therefore, she does him good even before she is married to him.
e. You are, whether you realize it or not, in a covenant relationship with your future spouse, regardless of your current relationship status.
f. It is your duty to do him good and not evil all the days of your life, This includes right now.
g. In light of that, any physical or emotional connection you have with a member of the opposite gender who is not either your husband or the person you are currently courting is sinful, if not downright adulterous.
h. (And I'm not even going to go into the whole "giving away pieces of your heart" doctrine!)
However. This argument is flawed for several reasons.
Firstly, it makes no provision for those who will never marry. Look at all the Biblical heroes who never married. Elijah, Paul, Luke, John the Baptist, Jeremiah, Isaiah...for crying out loud, even Jesus was single! Nowhere in the Bible does it say that being married is essential for serving the Lord. Jesus himself said that some are celibate for the kingdom of God and he not once condemns those who do not marry. Paul points out that those who are unmarried can better serve the Lord since their focus is on Him and not on their spouse.
Secondly, no where in the Bible does it say that God has divinely appointed a spouse for each person. It does say that He has ordained all of our days; however, he also gave us free will.
Thirdly, the problem with applying scripture about the married to the unmarried is quite simply taking scripture out of context. As my old Pastor always said, "a text without a context is a pretext."
Fourth, this is purely Biblical speculation. Again, applying a scripture about a married person to the unmarried.
Fifth, please show me where in the Bible you find this idea. WITHOUT taking scripture out of context! If you are engaged to someone, well, yes, you are committed to them. But telling a young person that he/she is currently in a covenant relationship with a future spouse who may or may not exist essentially compels them to feel that they must marry the first person they have a serious relationship with, because if they don't, then they somehow have not "saved" themselves for their future spouse.
Sixth, again, it's all speculation built off Proverbs 31:12.
Seventh, (and this is a topic for a whole post in and of itself), this is not only damaging to genuine guy-girl friendships, but places those who have dated, and/or been heartbroken, in a "damaged goods" category, and is straight up legalism. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that interaction, a deep connection to, or a relationship with someone of the opposite gender is a sin. Sexual immorality? Yes, is a sin. Adultery and lust? Oh yeah. But to invent rules which are not in the Bible and claim that anyone who breaks these man-made rules is sinning against God is exactly what Jesus condemned the Pharisees for!
Now, obviously this doesn't mean you should trash your body, engage in premarital sex, etc. But I know that I, for one, have struggled with intense shame for many years because I bought this approach to relationships hook, line, and sinker. I beat myself up over a simple dance with a guy (and mind you, this was swing dance, not even, like, slow dancing or something!) because according to this approach, since I had allowed a guy to hold my hand, I was now "impure" and hadn't "saved everything" for my future husband. Well, what if I never marry? Does that mean that I can never be genuine friends with a guy, hug a guy, or have a heart to heart with a guy, etc, because it somehow doesn't save ALL my body, mind, spirit, and soul for a future spouse who, as I've said before, may or may not exist??
Now does that mean that you shouldn't stay pure or that you should then throw the baby out with the bathwater? Of course not! .
Ultimately, though, our approach to purity should be, as the verse says, to glorify God in our bodies and spirits because they are bought with a price, and because they belong to GOD! My body does not belong to my future spouse. But by the same token, it doesn't belong to me, either!
It belongs to God. It is HIS temple, and I have a responsibility to HIM to use it wisely and for HIS ultimate glory. Scripture says that as an unmarried woman, I have greater freedom to focus on GOD because I don't have to worry about pleasing my husband. If I am so consumed with a legalistic approach to purity, however, all with a purpose to "please my future spouse", then what's the point in being single anyways??
May as well be married. To a shadow. Because that's basically what you are. Married to a ghost of a future spouse who may or may not exist, but who you cannot "defraud" because to do so would make you "sinning against God and His word." Purity becomes nothing but fear based legalistic behavior management.
Which is utter nonsense.
My purpose for purity is to bring God glory.
Because ultimately, that's my purpose for living anyway.
