We all know that one friend who is too good for her a**hole boyfriend, but just can't seem to break away from him. No matter how he treats her or her friends, she always finds a way to forgive him. If he tells her she looks best with curly hair, you won't see her with straight hair. If he tells her he doesn't like one of her friends, she'll eventually stop hanging out with them. Soon enough, her world will be all consumed by him. Unfortunately, I was that girl six years ago. I was naive and immature, however, instead of it scarring me from future relationships, I used it to my advantage to make me stronger.
1. I will never let a man tell me who I can and can't hangout with
My best friend and I had been friends for 6 years before I started dating this guy my Freshman year of high school. My boyfriend at the time didn't like that she would take me away from him and always made me feel bad for it. Soon my best friend and I stopped being best friends, or even friends at that. After losing one of my closest friends for a year I realized that no man should ever have that control over me. I am smart enough to decide whether or not I have a good friend, and trying to have that much control only shows that you're the person I shouldn't have in my life.
2. I will never let a man talk down to me
Being that this was my first serious boyfriend I had ever had, I didn't know what it meant to be treated right. Whenever we would fight he would throw cuss words at me and make me feel like I was less than him. He was an angry drunk, and at one point screamed at me, "you're a f***ing bitch." That was the last straw for me. I told myself that no one would ever cuss at me or call me names again because that is not what "love" is. I learned that a man who loves you will respect you, and that was not respect. I had finally found my voice and learned how to stand up for myself.
3. I will never choose a man over my friends
As I said before, I lost my best friend of six years when I was dating this guy. I not only lost her, but I was completely alienated from the rest of my friend group because I chose him over them. I learned that no boyfriend will ever be more important than your friends. Your friends will be there to give you outside advice into your relationship, be there for you when he breaks your heart or even act as your escape goat if you need a little time away. However, if you choose the guy over your friends, you don't have anyone to help you through difficult times and you don't have anyone to be there for you once it ends (and it eventually will).
4. I've learned when to run for the hills
If he randomly checks your phone or needs to know the passwords to all your social media accounts, run for the hills. If he gets mad at you for any guy that talks to you or even looks at you, run for the hills. If he needs to know who you're talking to and what you're doing on an hourly basis, RUN FOR THE HILLS.
5. I will always listen to my mom when it comes to boys
"You just don't understand." "You've never had a boyfriend like this." "But it's so much different than it was back then." We've probably all said these things to our parents when asking for relationship advice. They just don't understand, right? Wrong. I wish I would have listened to my mom when she said this boy was no good. She even forbid me from seeing him at one point, but of course that didn't stop me. My mom knew way before I did that this relationship was just going to bring me sadness. Now whenever I need boy advice, she is my go to and I (almost) always listen to what she has to tell me because she's (probably) right.
I'm thankful I dated an a**hole in high school because it made me the woman I am today. This relationship traumatized me so much that I know I NEVER want to go through that again and will do everything in my power to stop it. I know my self-worth and I know how I deserve to be treated. I'm glad I got it out in high school because I came to college as a strong, independent and confident woman.
So ladies, if you are dating someone who meets any of these criteria, dump the a**hole, because you will find someone who will show you what true love is.
