I will tell you straight up. This article might contain some triggers for people who are struggling. Please read with caution and care. If you need to talk, please contact me.
Life sometimes just kicks you down into the pits and won't allow you to get back up. Things go wrong constantly. Money is sparse, people you love leave you, you lose something important to you. Whatever the case or cases might be, maybe you have found yourself resenting what your life has become. I feel like we have all been in that place at one point or another.
Life seems bleak and you find yourself wrestling with your entire existence. You're going down the road, and you hit a curve too fast. You are able to correct it, but for a brief moment, you envision the car flipping out of control, and you realize that you're perfectly okay with that. You step off a curb into the street without looking both ways, and you don't care if you make it to the other side or not. Maybe you've been at the point where you lay down at night and as you close your eyes, you hope that you don't have to open them again. If you have been in any of those scenarios, I extend my deepest empathy, because I have been there, probably more recently than I would like to admit to anyone.
I have completely given up my will to live several times. I get tired, I get overwhelmed, or I am left with the brokenness that seems like it can never be fixed. Life feels like more of a hassle than a blessing. The pain and stress are constant. I am left feeling like I can't bother anyone else with my problems. The emotions are no longer expressed, the grief is suppressed, and the list of things to do replaces the time necessary to feel and deal with your internal pain. You smile,but deep down you feel hollow and broken.
Do you ever feel that way? Is there a part in your deepest emotions that is crying for life to end your pain? I would say that it is normal to feel that way. But let me encourage you. Don't let it stay that way. Listen when I tell you that your life has a greater purpose. The pain and the suffering may seem eternal, but it will fade eventually. The person you're too scared to reach out to wants you to know that they love you and they need you in their life.You mean the world to them. Your life gives their life a deeper meaning. Pain is a temporary thing, but the pain we experience in life is even more temporary. It won't last forever. Hear me when I tell you that your life is beyond precious. It has a meaning and a purpose, even if you lose sight of that for a moment.
Take a step back for a moment. Close your eyes and imagine who you are now. Think of that desire in you that doesn't want to carry on. Now, put that aside. Think about who you were five years ago. Think about your hardest situation you were in five years ago? Is it relevant to you now? Is it still breaking you? Chances are it's not. What about four years ago? Three? Two? Even one year ago? All those things that you thought were going to kill you, are they bringing you down today? I hope they aren't. Just like someday, in the near future, you can look back and realize that every moment is still worth living. You will survive this temporary pain, and you will come out a stronger person because of it.
Take a deep breath, lift your chin up, and fight for you desire to live. Life is tragic, but from the tragedy can come beauty and strength. Summon that strength to live, because you are worth every ounce of fight and every beautiful thing life has to offer you.
