You kept saying I deserved more from you. You said I deserved the world and you felt you couldn’t give it to me. You said you didn’t feel good enough for me. You said a lot of things that didn’t make much sense to me. At first, I didn’t know why I felt so confused when you said things like that. As time went on, I realized just what it was that made you so wrong every time you said I deserved more from you.

You made it sound like I needed you. You made it sound like I wasn’t going to make it without you or like I would fall apart without you. But let me be perfectly clear - I never needed you. I was perfectly happy before you were in my life, and I will be perfectly happy without you. You were never someone that I looked at and thought I couldn’t live without. You were in my life because you added onto my already present happiness. You weren’t the source of my happiness though. You were in my life because I wanted you there. I never needed you.

I know what I deserve. I know what I want in this world. I want to travel to different countries, skydive, and swim with the sharks. I want to eventually get stupid tattoos with someone that don’t necessarily match but have meaning together. I want to hike the Grand Canyon and at least some of the Great Wall of China. I want to cross off every single thing on my bucket list. But I don’t need you to do that. I never thought I needed you to do any of that.

Would it be cool to travel the world with you and make all of those memories together? Of course. I would love to hike some of the greatest natural and man-made wonders of the world with you. I would love to be there when you get your first tattoo, since you were with me when I got mine. I would love to do everything on my bucket list with you, but I have no problem doing it myself.

What I want in this world never had to be what you wanted from the world. I know you don’t have any interest in skydiving. You don’t seem that interested in traveling either. Half of the things I want to do before I die are things you would never do, or at least things you never showed interest in doing. I never expected those things from you. The only thing I ever expected from you was some time and a little attention.

You were right about one thing, though. I did deserve more. Your error in judgement came from the fact that you thought I deserved more from you, when that was not true at all. You didn’t owe me anything. I deserved more from myself. You didn’t have to give me the world because I needed to learn to give it to myself.

And I’m still learning to do that, but I’m making progress. I’ve changed so much as a person in the last year, and I’m happier most days. I’m growing every day. I’ve given myself someone professional to talk to about my issues, and it’s helping. I’m more social now, which started by force but is now by choice. I didn’t realize how much I needed social interaction. Compared to not talking to people about my problems and not talking to anyone in general, that’s significant progress for me.

So the world is still ahead of me, and I will give it to myself. I will fight for what I want and what I deserve. I don’t need anything from anyone else, including you. So don’t tell me that you couldn’t give me what I deserved. Don’t tell me you felt like you couldn’t give me the world. Don’t tell me that you couldn’t give me what I needed. I never needed you.