*person shoves past me because they're in a rush*

Me: "Sorry!!!"

Women, more than men by far, are inherently apologetic. We apologize when a man shoves past us. We apologize when the elevator door closes before someone running towards it can get on. We apologize when we drop something and don't pick it up fast enough. We apologize when we don't want to disturb someone else. But why is that?

I could easily say that men continue to be our societal oppressors, and therefore we feel the need to apologize for things we have not done, and for things we cannot control, but that's not even the truth (anymore). While at one point it may have been drilled into females' heads that men are superior and are beings to be looked up to, I cannot accurately say that with increased awareness of feminism and gender equality that that is the case today.

The truth is that it has been ingrained within us women that we are supposed to apologize. Our society has taught us that women are sympathetic, and at times, overly-sympathetic. We feel bad for those who suffer. We feel even worse when we feel as if we've inflicted that suffering onto someone. We are expected to feel emotion where a typical man or person wouldn't. And so, we say sorry.

However, we should look deeper into when and how we say sorry. Are we really at fault for what just ensued? Are we truly regretful of what just happened? Or are we simply struggling in some way to make up for the "inadequacy" we feel we have?

I find this topic really interesting because this is probably the most important lesson I learned from shadowing a surgeon this summer. From shadowing a surgeon. When approached with questions I didn't know the answer to, or if refused by a nurse the permission to watch over a procedure I should have been able to, I found myself saying sorry. I was not at fault in either situation, but I just apologized, because that's what society told us to do.

It wasn't until this was pointed out by a friend (and future doctor!) that I realized what I was doing. I never realized that every time someone else bumped into me, I said sorry. I never realized that when confronted with a question I didn't even have the skill set to answer, I was sorry. I apologized every time, and 99% of the time, it wasn't even an event related to me.

Women need to stop apologizing when we have nothing to apologize for.