In today’s society girls’ perception of body image is distorted because of their surroundings, discussions and social media. Most women and girls are caught in a trap of having a fixed, extreme idea of how we are supposed to look and present ourselves to others. These issues resonate not only with the physical appearance of a female, but also how one feels internally. A negative idea of body image can cause bullying, low self esteem, eating disorders and overall negative impact how one looks at the world. Such issues do not appear one day out of nowhere; these ideas are instilled in girls’ heads starting at a very young age. I recently came across a piece of writing on the internet, written by Sarah Koppelkam, emphasizing the importance of changing a girl's perspective on body image by how a parent talks to their daughter.
Sarah starts by stating, “How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: Don't talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.” She stresses how important it is to avoid making comments about your daughter’s physical appearance and instead to highlight other aspects of her being. Don’t say that she has lost weight, gained weight or that she looks amazing; rather explain that she looks healthy, strong, happy or “better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.”
Not only does she acknowledge the importance of making a conscious choice of one’s language towards their daughter, she highlights the impact that talking about your own body and other women’s’ bodies can have. Don’t talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, your diet plans or anything positive or negative about any woman’s body. Do not tell your daughter that you’ve taken away carbs from your diet – “your daughter should never think that carbs are evil because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.”
If Sarah is saying that these are all things that we should never talk about with our daughter, then what should we be talking about? Rather than causing her whole life to be focused on body image, “teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.” Instill the morals in life that have more value than a number on a scale. Encourage your daughter to run as it helps relieve stress, to hike and climb mountains, "because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe,” and to take risks or try new things because it can be scary which at times is a good thing. Teach your daughter how to cook kale, show her how to bake a chocolate cake, share your love for being outdoors, and let her know that she as the ability to do anything she puts her mind to. Sarah concludes by saying to “remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.”
With how much focus we put on body image today, it hinders everyone, both male and female, from seeing more in the world than they have the potential to. We need to create an environment in which body shaming does not exist, one where they learn to love and accept themselves not solely for their exterior but for their beings and who they are as an individual. We need to demonstrate how to embrace life for all it has to offer rather than focusing on what we see on the scale, in the mirror, or how we compare ourselves to others. It is 2016 and it is time to encourage all to live a life embracing strength, confidence, independence, and happiness.
