Why I Don’t Take “You’re Not Like Other Girls” As A Compliment

Why I Don’t Take “You’re Not Like Other Girls” As A Compliment

Why you should stick up for fellow girls with "New Girl" Gifs.
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Boys, friends, family, they tell you you’re not like those other girls, you are different.

Catty, mean, cliquey, and dramatic the world seems to be filled with girls who give their gender a bad rap. School always have cliques, boys get played, and bullying happens, girls will be girls right?

Wrong.

I have had my fair share of mean girls and bullying. I had my group of friends in school and I knew who were the “popular girls.” Whenever I would share with family my problems, they always would sigh and say of course we all know what you’re going through girls have always been catty and mean. Why then was I not this female cliché? Because I was different, I was “not like other girls”.

With boys I often got the “you’re not like other girls” as well. I play video games, hunt, wasn’t into drama, am rational, and straight forward, and to many guys, this was “special.” The female sex has been labeled a certain way, and if you don’t fit the mold you are a wonderful anomaly. This implies that the female sex as a whole has been labeled “bad”. I had to ask myself, am I really one of the few good ones, or is my sex just simply mislabeled?

In June 2016 I attended the NCCWSL (national conference of college women student leaders) conference in D.C. Women worked together, workshopped, and bonded. Halfway through my conference, I took a step back in awe. 900 women lived and worked together for a week, and there were no cliques, drama, or cattiness. How could “typical girl behavior” disappear for a week, what was different? At first, I thought the caliber of women lead to this environment, but as I thought more, I realized something else was missing. Racism, judgment, sexism, boys, and most importantly societal standards of women. If you take out the socially constructed girl vs girl competition, and what unfair societal judgments, that unfairly termed feminine behavior seems to be gone. Yes, day to day girls seem to be more verbal than physical in attacking one another than boys. Observable behavior, I am suggesting, is greatly impacted by societal norms and generalizations.

So why am I upset when people say I’m “not like other girls”?

Because girls are smart, kind, strong, and rational. “Most girls” are not mean and catty, some are, as there are mean people everywhere, but our sex is not inherently mean. Woman as a sex are great, and as I learned in the conference, there are many talented and ambitious women out there. Being a rational and honest girl is not out of the ordinary. While mean girls exist, the ones that are bully’s and heartbreakers are surprisingly the few. Your perception of “female” behavior is based on who you surround yourself with, what you're taught, and what society tells you.



I am unique and different, but I am like other girls. I am strong and capable, like other girls. I will continue, to be honest, work hard, and empower other women to support one another so that when people talk about “other girls” they look at our generation and say yes I am a girl (or a woman), and I am proud of what that means.

Cover Image Credit: New Girl

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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I Found My Voice When I Was Diagnosed With Muscular Dystrophy

How I became a writer

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I have always had a love and passion for writing since I was little. Probably as early as third grade. I would always write makeup stories about monsters and typical third-grade stuff. My third-grade teacher, Mrs. Strobbe saw my potential. Her class was hard but it pushed me to become a better writer. Rarely anyone got an A in her class and I had received an A in that class. Then as time went on, I pushed away from writing just because I didn't think I could make way with a career of writing - obviously I was wrong.

I began on the teaching path the rest of my elementary years. (Yes, I've had an idea of what I wanted to do when I was just in elementary, call me crazy.) In 6th grade, I still thought teaching was the way to go. At the time was going through a rough patch- getting spinal fusion and getting diagnosed with MD. It was a lot for a 12 or 13-year-old to handle. I had a lot of thoughts and feelings.

My mom had encouraged me to write again whether in a blog or writing in a journal. I had decided to write in a blog and it felt really good to write again. I only talked about my surgery because I wasn't quite ready to share the whole MD ordeal yet to the whole world. Close family knew but my friends had no clue.

I got into high school and students even teachers would ask me "Why are you riding the elevator?" Why this and that. I didn't really share much because I was afraid people would think differently of me. But I was tired of people asking me. I then wrote a piece on social media and put my story out there for the world and it felt amazing. I finally found my voice and I was loving writing more than ever. It was because I had the courage to speak up and stop hiding. I needed to share what I have been through and teach people to learn to embrace what they've got no matter who you are. I wanted to be the person to make a positive impact on people who have diseases and those who don't understand what it's like having a disability through the power of writing. I wanted to have the power to tell people's unique stories who may be afraid to speak up for themselves or share their story.

My goal when I write is to hopefully make a difference in someone's life or just someone that can be relatable. In high school, I am also highly involved in publications ie being Co-Editor-In-Chief for the Magazine for the last four years and it was a huge game changer as well, I never thought that I could make a living and realistically have a job In the journalism field. Being in publications was an eye-opener. It lead me to so many opportunities- writing for Newsboys, going to Mizzou for Journalism field trips etc. It made me fall in love with writing even more than I had. For me, writing is everything to me and I know I wouldn't be the same person or even the writer I am today without sharing my story.

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