Every day, I come across another post where a girl complains about how today’s dating culture is ruined, chivalry is dead, and boys don’t know how to be men. I’ve seen hundreds of articles mourning romance in the modern age. The people who read these are the same girls who wish they lived in a simpler time when their perfect gentleman (whom their mother adores) would “treat her right” and “sweep her off her feet.” Now, thanks to millennials and technology and participation trophies and Tinder and probably global warming, she’ll never find happiness. She’ll just keep waiting for “Mr. Right.”

I can’t read another one of those articles, so let me break something to you: nothing is ever going to change if you sit around waiting, so stop whining and do something.

Sure, chivalry is dead. We’re not in the Middle Ages anymore, and I, for one, don’t mourn chivalry because it was a system that treated women like fragile children that needed to be taken care of. There’s a reason we ended it, so stop idealizing the past when women had fewer rights and less respect.

If you really want a new dating culture with a kind of chivalry, you have to adapt it to modern times. As a modern woman, you have amazing independence that you should be proud of. Don’t let anyone take it from you. In fact, use it.

Try holding the door open for a guy you like, buying him dinner, and “treating him right.” Think that sounds ridiculous? That’s what you demand from every man you rant about. Don’t expect so much of people without treating them with the same care and respect. Create a relationship of equality. If you’re annoyed that every guy wants to go Dutch at Chipotle instead of treating you to a fancy dinner, buy his food and tell him he can get the next one.

And I know you hate hook-up culture. I’m sorry people want different things than you. No, actually, I’m really not. Yeah, some guys aren’t looking for anything serious. Leave them alone. Stop moping and stalking their social media. Your real problem is that you want what you can’t have. Move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Hate how guys are afraid of commitment and labels? Try actually talking to a guy about how you feel. Take charge and say those three beautiful words that change everything: “What are we?” If you really want commitment, demand it.

If nothing seems to be working, just stop trying to change the wrong guy — the guy who doesn’t respect you or doesn't want to get serious. I know he has the same sense of humor as you and likes the same books, but if you don’t want the same things, it’s never going to work. For that piece of advice, I really am sorry. It can be hard to let someone go, but it will be better in the long run.

And one final request: try to be happy alone. Learn more about yourself, change yourself completely a couple times, and make some outstanding friends. I know you have a 5-year plan, but you’re young. You don’t deserve to be this jaded about your future. Stop worrying about how soon you need to meet your soulmate in order to be married with kids by 27. If you’re happy with yourself, everything is going to work out.