Being in a relationship is amazing: you have found someone that you love and care about, and they feel the same way about you. You enjoy each other's company, yet you understand the need for space due to different engagements. There isn't anything that could go wrong. Until the depression and anxiety kick in.
I just want to make a full disclosure: not all cases are like what I am about to describe.
Some may be similar, but not every case is cookie-cutter.
After a conversation with her doctor, they decided to try to wean her off her medication within the last month of college. She knew that she was okay to go without them when she had left for her internship and was dealing with the stress of college (at the very least, her worst spirals were not nearly as bad as they had been).
She had been off her medication for about two weeks when she fell into her absolute worse spirals.
Something in her head tells her that nothing is worth doing, that she will just fail at everything. She will go quiet and tell you that everything is fine, even if they aren't. She doesn't want you to worry about her and will apologize when you show concern.
She thinks the worst things: that everyone she cares about hates her in reality. She pushes them away to avoid getting hurt.
She avoids doing the things she has to: she just wants to stay in bed and sleep, picturing nonexistence.
She avoids her responsibilities at school and at work. She doesn't take care of herself: she'll go days at a time without eating, always seeing herself in the worst possible light.
The only thing you can do is be patient. When they are having a good day and wants to talk about it, they will. Listen to them, comfort them any way you can. Offer the little things to show that you care. When they are having a bad day, encourage them to do the things that they have to do, but be reasonable.
Don't tell them what they are going through can easily be fixed: there are plenty of times when they can't. We walk around campus, and I plan on downloading Pokemon Go so we can keep doing this when we live in Atlanta.
It can be emotionally taxing at times, especially when you are seeing them at their absolute worst. You may want to cry, you may want to get angry with yourself for not being able to help them when that's all you want to do. But the thing is you can't just give up. You both want the relationship to last, and it important to remember that their depression does not define them.
It's a challenge, but at the end of the day, everything you put in is worth it.
It's an obstacle, but not one but the two of you, together, cannot overcome.
In the end, she has decided to go back on her medication, at least for a little while longer. When we move in together, she may try again, and maybe try to go see a therapist. Whatever she decides to do, I will support her 100 percent of the way.
