It doesn’t.

No matter what anyone says and no matter how long you have been single. Not having a significant other does not make you any less valuable.

For the longest time I thought that was wrong. I thought that something was wrong with me for going so long without a boyfriend. What made it worse was that in the instance where a guy showed interest in me, I turned him down.

I was told I was too fussy, that I had too high expectations of guys for my age. During my middle and high school years I never felt so conflicted. I wanted a boyfriend so badly. Yet, each time someone came along something was always off. Either I wasn’t attracted to them or they were Grade A jerks. Nothing could ever fall into place for me or my love life. It took me until now to realize that I was wanting something I was not ready for.

As I look back on my life and ignore all the cringeworthy moments I was not ready in the slightest for a boyfriend. I was insecure and unsure of myself and who I was supposed to be, and my values were all over the place. However, most importantly, I was putting a guy before God. I thought I was incomplete without a guy fawning all over me and telling me how pretty he thought I was. I am incomplete, but it is God who completes me, not some guy.

How was I ever going to allow a man into my life if I was not willing to let the most important, and most graceful being into my life first? It is so hard to be content with your singleness when it seems like everyone under the sun is asking you if you found a guy yet or, even worse, try and throw their pity at you like being single is some sort of tragedy. I used to let that all go to my head and I would wallow for days on end about my tragic case of singleness.

In reality, I think our time of being single can be the biggest blessing of all. I have had the ability to delve deep into my faith and find myself within God. I have so much freedom to do what I like and explore all the opportunities the world has to offer.

Within my time being single I have found who I want to be and even who I am looking for as a significant other in the future. I no longer am jealous of friends and their boyfriends. I no longer covet what God has not intended me to have at this point in my life.

You can learn so much about yourself in your single years and they are not something to be ashamed of. Your worth is not in a man but in God. Please do not look upon your time as a single woman as something to simply “get over.” Instead, I hope you learn and grow through this period.

There is a purpose in it and there is a plan for you. Talk to someone if you believe it will help. I talked to a woman who showed me so many ways to be happy in my singleness and how to learn from it.

In Song of Songs 2:7 says “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” To all the beautiful women out there, be patient and put your love in our Lord because he has a plan for you and will awaken the love in our lives when He desires.