What It's Like To Be The Girl Nobody Wants

What It's Like To Be The Girl Nobody Wants

It hurts to be second best.

If you're one of my friends, you probably clicked on this article to see what I had to say about how I'm "never wanted" or "why I'm talking about this topic." However, if you clicked on this article because this topic relates to you, then thank you. Thank you for just reading about something that probably is irrelevant to write about, but for listening anyways.

This article is going to be very informal and personal. Over the past few weeks I have started to lose my passion to write. What used to take me less than an hour started to take four days to compose. This was because of stress, feelings of loneliness, tiredness, and anxiety. I began to feel like that toy you quit playing with when you feel like you're "too old" for toys anymore. In other words, I felt like the girl that nobody wanted.

My friends and family will say that I am wanted and special, but I don't see that. I have friends, I have good grades, I have a healthy life, but that doesn't prevent nor stop these feelings of loneliness and solitude.

I kind of envision myself as the girl that no guy wants. My friends and family have told me numerous times that "I'm so pretty I could have any guy I wanted" or that "any guy would want to be with me," but guess what I've come to realize -- it's not true.

When writing an article like this, I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I just want people to know that as much as you think I do, I don't believe in myself. I try to remind myself that God is going to put the right man in my life at the right time, but sometimes hope is not enough. Imagine yourself surrounded by your best friends, and each of them are getting new cars, but since you don't get a new car you stand right beside them faking a smile so they don't recognize that you are hurting. That is the type of feelings I feel.

I've sat and thought many times how my life is a joke. I've watched guys text me and then want nothing to do with me the next day. And nothing hurts worse than being someone's second choice. Being someone's second choice is like being the happiest puppy in a litter, but because you aren't the prettiest you don't get chosen. It's sad because this is how many men look at women today.

My friends text me all the time and ask why I post sad things on social media, and here's the answer you've all been waiting for: I'm lonely. I wouldn't wish these feelings of loneliness on anyone, but I wish the people closest to me understood this. I don't want to feel lonely, but I can't just snap out of the feelings no matter how bad I want to.

This article isn't just about not being in a relationship. I did not write this with the intentions of it being about relationships. However, relationships are what have caused many of these feelings of loneliness and sadness to occur.

If you read this, I hope it made some sense to you. I haven't been able to compose thoughts that make sense in a long time.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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An Open Letter To The Girl Trying To Get Healthy Again

"I see you eating whatever you want and not exercising" - Pants

Dear girl trying to get back in shape,

I know it's hard. I know the hardest thing you may do all day is walk into the gym. I know how easy it is to want to give up and go eat Chicken McNuggets, but don't do it. I know it feels like you work so hard and get no where. I know how frustrating it is to see that person across the table from you eat a Big Mac every day while you eat your carrots and still be half of your size. I know that awful feeling where you don't want to go to the gym because you know how out of shape you are. Trust me, I know.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Trying To Lose Weight In College

The important thing is you are doing something about it. I'm sure you get mad at yourself for letting your body get this out of shape, but life happens. You have made a huge accomplishment by not having a soda in over a month, and those small changes are huge. I understand how hard it is, I understand how frustrating it is to not see results and I understand why you want to give up. Being healthy and fit takes so much time. As much as I wish you could wake up the day after a good workout with the 6 pack of your dreams, that just isn't the reality. If being healthy was easy, everyone would do it, and it wouldn't feel so good when you got there.

Remember how last January your resolution was to get back in the gym and get healthy again? Think about how incredible you would look right now if you would have stuck with it. The great thing is that you can start any time, and you can prove yourself wrong.

Tired of starting over? Then don't give up.

You are only as strong as your mind. You will get there one day. Just be patient and keep working.

Nothing worth having comes easy. If you want abs more than anything, and one day you woke up with them, it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying as watching your body get stronger.

Mental toughness is half the battle. If you think you are strong, and believe you are strong, you will be strong. Soon, when you look back on the struggle and these hard days, you will be so thankful you didn't give up.

Don't forget that weight is just a number. What is really important is how you feel, and that you like how you look. But girl, shout out to you for working on loving your body, because that shit is hard.

To the girl trying to get healthy again, I am so proud of you. It won't be easy, it will take time. But keep working out, eating right, and just be patient. You will be amazed with what your body is capable of doing.

Cover Image Credit: Stock Snap

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Let's Talk About How The Food Industry Handles Allergies

I've barely survived natural selection for 20 years.

Why did I unexpectedly burst out in hives like I was Will Smith in Hitch when I was 15?

Great question. It took me about a week to discover the answer, but I'll spare you the anticipation.

After tons of personal research and trips to urgent cares and hospitals alike, I was finally advised to visit an allergist for extensive testing. This normally would have seemed like a dismissive idea had I not been so desperate for immediate answers. I made appointments constantly and found myself in and out of clinics to receive skin and blood tests until there seemed to be nothing left to scan for.

Food allergies have never run heavily in my family, aside from the occasional intolerances of distant relatives. So I guess being diagnosed with close to 40 during my sophomore year of high school makes me a first-generation paranoid eater.

Forty is a large number. I agree.

(Please note that if I have ever rejected your dinner invitation it was not personal.)

From then on, my diet became the most important part of my life. Although I didn't want to be that girl, I really did not have a choice. I avoided restaurants and religiously read every letter of the nutrition labels for every single item I consumed.

When three times a day you're faced with a potentially deadly scenario, life becomes scary.

Most of the issues us disabled dieters seem to face stem from mislabeling.

The legalities of labeling food products are interesting, as ingredients can actually take years to be approved by the FDA. For suppliers, this isn’t a fun process.

From this inconvenience, a concept known as GRAS (Generally Recognized As Safe), was created in 1997. By designating ingredients involved in the manufacturing of a food product to be GRAS, they are no longer required to be displayed in the Nutritional Facts for that product. While this may seem like a novel idea for suppliers, it puts consumers at an extreme disadvantage.

This “GRAS scheme” has gotten to an alarming point where further investigation shows that if the FDA were to look more into what exactly is being labeled ineffective on consumers, it would open up a whole new door of problems. As a result, they just keep it shut. We now lack knowledge about what is being put into our bodies. Are carrots just carrots? Is your cereal entirely heart healthy?

Some would say the Food Industry is distorting information for personal benefit - whether that means convenience or profit. Regardless of your dietary needs or preferences, this statement should be alarming.

After delving into countless personal studies, as well as writing an academic research paper on the subject, I was completely shocked to find just how many loopholes there really are that can blindside consumers.

For example, in a 2015 study for the Czech Journal of Food Science, it was found that even major allergens such as the nuts can be traced from the sources you’d least expect. After analyzing 150 samples from local supermarkets, 5 out of 56 foods labeled nut-free were found positive for traces of hazelnut. This means there is a 5 in 56 chance that a consumer with a hazelnut allergy will be sent to an emergency room for eating a product they were told was safe for consumption.

Just to clarify, although the Czech Republic operates under the CAFIA (Czech Agriculture and Food Inspection Authority) rather than the FDA, this issue is widespread to the Food Industry as a whole, and not one single entity is responsible for the misrepresentation and mishandling of lethal ingredients.

While scientific examples can be studied, the heartache that comes with seeing a loved one experience life-threatening encounters can be more eye-opening than anything else.

What's worse is experiencing your own throat close minutes after eating packaged food that is labeled safe for your dietary needs.

How could anyone feel safe?

While politics or religious affiliations may affect what consumers choose to eat or drink, Natural Selection will always have its eye on those which physically cannot tolerate a number of products.

By producing goods through loopholes and creating scarcity in areas of the Food Pyramid for certain consumers, suppliers are ultimately harming nearly everyone.

It’s time the Food Industry evolves - because at this rate these poor regulations are going to outlive us all.

Cover Image Credit: Emma Keeney

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