I'm not an expert on love, but I am an expert on breakups. The sad breakups that require a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a month of chick flicks to move on. The angry breakups that require burning old pictures and his clothing. The breakups that almost feel relieving and the breakups that I always saw coming. I've been through them all. Sure, they all suck and none of them are necessarily easy, but the worst ones are when you're left behind and never given a reason why. The ones where you were given no closure, but expected to move on and get over it anyway. So here's to you girls who were never given an explanation.

First off, I just want to let you know that this isn't any fault of your own. When a relationship ends without any explanation, we tend to blame ourselves. We question what we did wrong in the relationship. Was it the fact that I always wanted your attention? Could it be that I was always bringing up our future? We question when he stopped loving us. Did it come on slowly, or did he just wake up and not feel it anymore? Did he stop loving me because he loved someone else more? Was there something I could have done to keep him? It's human nature to blame ourselves first, but the answer we're after is never found in "what could I have done?" It's always just "why?" The worst part about this question is that you may never truly understand the answer, if you get an answer at all. Most times, we're not that lucky.

Instead, we're forced to create our own sense of closure in order to cope with the fact that someone who promised a lifetime is no longer keeping their word. I know firsthand that this is not an easy process. It's never easy for your heart to accept something that your brain doesn't understand. There are going to be long, sleepless nights where you still believe he'll come back ... that the two of you can resolve whatever issues there were and that everything will go back to the way it was. There are going to be days where you're angry at him. For leaving, for never explaining himself, for not giving you any way to move on. None of this is going to feel like progress, or closure, but trust me ... it is.

You see, I was never given any explanation either. My relationship ended with a boy saying, "I'll talk to you later" and then never speaking to me again. A six-month rollercoaster of a relationship was ended with five words. The promises that we made to each other, the memories that we shared, all of the jokes that we had made ... none of that mattered anymore because, for him, it was over. And I'll admit, it took me another six months before I finally felt like myself again. But after months of restless nights and crying and being angry and not understanding, I finally woke up one morning and it didn't hurt.

Closure isn't something that's always immediately given, but it's something that is always found. When it's 1 am and you're crying and you feel your heart breaking, that's closure. When you tear up his pictures and throw away his gifts, that's closure. When you wake up one summer morning and your heart doesn't feel so heavy, that's closure. And when you see him four months later in a grocery store and don't feel a thing, not sadness or anger or anything, that's when you know you've gotten closure.

It may not come right away, but it will come eventually, and that's what you need to focus on.