I have never been someone to like the idea of singleness. I am one of those girls who is really good at being in a relationship. I love getting someone little surprises, cooking food when they have had a long day, sending encouraging messages in the morning, I love it all. I have never feared commitment and I have always embraced what it means to love someone with my whole heart. So for me, singleness has always been a challenge, like a serious battle. For the longest time, singleness led me to believe I was not good enough. It made me question "Why am I single, what am I doing wrong?" For far too long, I let the enemy saturate my mind with those questions until finally, I had a boyfriend.
At 15, I began dating (far too young now looking back at it). I dated a guy whom I thought the world of. I lost all of the questions of "Am I enough?". At the time, I thought that this guy was brought into my life so that the Lord could show me that I truly was a wanted person. It took three and a half years, however, for me to realize the error in my assumptions. This January, I broke up with him and found out what the Lord had been urging me to see for so long: I was not enough because I had a guy at my side, I was enough because the Lord lived in me.
At first, I was extremely anxious. I sank back into my original mindset: "But Lord, what about now? Where do I go now?" I was confused and hurt and more than anything, I was worried. I was genuinely afraid that I was going to turn into that single 36 year old with only her dog and string cheese to love. The greatest thing about our God, however, is that he can view the whole picture when we can only see ten feet in front of us. It took only about a week, after a three and a half year relationship, for me to find utter joy in singleness (that's the other great thing about God, when we say O.K. to His requests, He follows through and helps us to feel full). I was surprisingly okay with my decision and realized the true plans that God had in store for me. During these past 11 months, the Lord has forced me to see that I am enough because of Him. He has shown me that placing your significance in a guy makes you an unstable person. Instead, you have to be firm in your understanding of yourself and your place with the Lord. I now can understand that He loves me, and because of that single fact, everything else will fall into place.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."-Philippians 4:6-7
Singleness has taught me to trust the Lord. It has shown me that God's understanding of my life is all I need to be at peace. It has made me fight for faith and helped me to fully believe that I am enough solely because I am a child of God. The God of all knows my story; He knows my tomorrow. Girls, please know that singleness is something to be valued. God is using your singleness as preparation for your future spouse. He is building you and teaching you, do not try and leave class early just because you are tired of being alone. God is not finished with you yet! It is easy to sit and wonder about your future, but try and remember, there is no reason to worry when God is in control. He will take care of it all, and you get to be the recipient of His blessings.
Singleness, though not easy, is truly a gift. Embrace it, love it, and grow from it. You never know what the Lord has in store for your tomorrow.
