Being a female, we are stereotyped to be very indecisive, and for some of us, this stereotype fits very well. We have a hard time deciding what outfit looks the best, what restaurant to eat at, what topics we choose to talk about, the people we choose to trust and so on. This is a letter for the girl who is stuck between a rock and a hard place.
At a young age, especially, we have all of these emotions that flood us. We don't ask for them, and most times, we aren't looking for them. They just come. To the girl who is having a hard time choosing between the one she loves and the one who loves her, this is for you.
Throughout life, we know that we will fall in and out of love. Accepting this known fact, though, isn't as easy as people try to make it seem. When we are little, we are told these fairy tales. We are made to believe that true love always works out with a happy ending. So, as little girls, we dream of finding our Prince Charming. We rush this dream and eventually end up settling for less than we deserve.
We stick around with the one who we believe we love because we have hope in them. We hope that they will become the person they once were, the person who gave us butterflies every time we were around them, the one person who made us feel special. We don't give up because we believe that we can become special to them once again if we continue trying and believing. The bittersweet part about love is that yes, we do fall out of love and we do hurt, but there is someone else out there who finds us special.
I do believe that we cannot help who or what we fall in love with. Just like we cannot control who falls in love with us.
When you love someone, we ideally hope that they love us back just as much if not more, but sometimes that's not the case. In life, we come around new people and new things. This does cause change. We evolve. Within this period of time, the person who once loved you may have fallen out of love. You hold on to this thing that once was a relationship because of all the memories and plans that were tied into it. You might feel anger or pain that someone else loves you, but it's because it's not the person you want to love you. You may have a hard time accepting the little and big things this person does for you, the happiness and love this person brings for you because it's not the one you asked or hoped for. It is hard having to make the choice of letting go of who you once saw a future with for the person who sees a future with you. There comes a point where you have to think about what is best for yourself. There is only so much you can do to prove to someone how much you love them. When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter what all you say or do, you cannot make someone feel something that they just don't feel. You don't have to hate them or cut them out of your life just because they don't love you the same anymore, but it is okay to want better for yourself. It is okay to want to be happy, truly happy. It is okay to want to make plans and memories with someone new. You don't have to keep making yourself vulnerable to get someone's attention because you love them, and most importantly, you don't have to stop loving the person. Just because you move on, doesn't mean you stop loving them. Moving on means that you are offering a better outcome for yourself even if the one you love isn't that outcome. It's allowing yourself to find love in other people and things
What I want you to take from this is that it isn't easy, but it is worth it. It takes time. It's not something you can rush. It's going to hurt. It's going to hurt like hell, but life doesn't stop. Life isn't stopping for you or for me or for any of us. We have to let go and move on from things in life. We have to allow ourselves to grow even if it means we grow with other people. It's just how life is. It's about stepping out of our comfort zones and taking risks. Allow yourself to have better.. Do not continue to settle for anything less than you deserve.
