This one's for the kids that walk around with their hoodies up
No one to talk to and on the verge of givin' up
Same shit, different day, nothing seems to work out
Headphones on, always tryin' to tune the world out
And this one's for the kids who gets picked last
Yeah, so might as well just skip gym class
Why not? I bet no one would even notice
'Cause no one really cares when you down, feeling hopeless
And this one's for the kids at lunch that sit alone
So embarassed you pretendin' that you're on the phone
But then you realize that it doesn't really help
'Cause ain't nobody on the line, you're just talking to yourself

And it stings, right?! Yeah, I know
Sometimes it feels like you're on your own
Trust me, you are not the only one, life has only just begun
Just remember that you're not alone — Jake Miller

This song, this very song got me through the rest of high school. At the start of high school, I seemed to fit in. But towards the end of freshman year, that's when everyone turned on me and looked at me as somebody different. Even though this song didn't come out till the beginning of senior year, It made me take a different look on how to approach the new year. After freshman year, everything started going down hill and seemed like it wasn't going to come back. I had lost all my good friends down to the ones I trust. Fitting in and trying to make friends was the one thing I couldn't understand and I guess it was one thing people didn't want to do with me.

As sophomore year was progressing, the more I felt like I wasn't there and everyone was looking right pass me. It didn't stop there — even the teachers started in on it and didn't care how I would finish as long as I was out of their class and didn't come back. Of course, I was in sports, but guess what I wasn't welcomed there either. It was just all about the preppy kids and a person from the outside doesn't belong on the inside. I would come home to my mom and tell her everything and she'd call the school and they said they would handle everything — and guess what? They didn't, because this isn't bulling, so there was nothing they could do.

Ever since I became the ghost in high school, I thought of myself as a different person. Someone that didn't even know who she was. Thats when I discovered Jake Miller, the person that saved me, and now I feel like I can express who I am and not care about having friends, but know that I should only please myself and not anyone else. When Jake Miller came out with the song "Ghost," I instantly loved it because that is who I am. When I went to meet Jake Miller, I told him how he saved me and he actually cared. I even had him write out a tattoo for me from that song. The line is, "Remember, stars still shine in the darkest nights. Even when you can't see them, they're always there." This line gives me hope and every night before I go to bed, I look up to the sky and say that line because even when I don't shine I'm still the brightest I can be.

So when freshman year of college hit, I took the world on by a different meaning and it helped a lot. I made a lot of friends and I felt like I belonged somewhere for the first time in a long time. For the first time I felt like a different person and I knew who I was and I was happy with the person I chose to be. When freshman year came to a close I finally found who I was and knew I wasn't a ghost anymore.

Sadly, I was wrong about that.

Since I do athletics at my college, we get to move in a week earlier than everyone else and I was pumped to see my best friend and she was pumped to see me. But this year we are farther apart in the dorms and it seems to me that she has left me out in the cold. At practices with my team, I feel like an outsider all over again because every time we have partners I don't have one because no one wants to be with me. But I'm fine with being the ghost all over again, because I know I don't belong and I never will.

This year for my sophomore year of college I couldn't care less anymore, because I know I'm not going to make friends and I'm better off without friends because all they ever do is leave me and treat me like I'm never there. So this year, I'm just going back to my high school self because I deserve to be that ghost.