When a small group of friends are close knit and almost inseparable, you can say “best friends forever” all you want. But what happens when you see the end is near? What happens when “forever” turns into six months? Your little group is so close, and then suddenly you’re wondering if tearing it apart is worth it. What happens when you come to the conclusion that your best friend is toxic?
It’s not easy to evaluate a friendship with somebody. You will wonder if there’s really something wrong or if you’re just overreacting, and when other friends step forward with the same concerns, you’ll realize there really is a problem. It can be hard to identify toxic behaviors of someone you’re close to. You will make every excuse to explain their rude comments and judgmental attitude. When you finally stop making excuses, and you look at this friend from any other person’s point of view, you’ll see who they really are. Many people say that if you spend more time upset than happy, then something is wrong. Finding this is true in your friendship is hard to accept.
There’s this odd tension within yourself after you realize something is wrong. When you know you need to end it, you will have the feeling inside that it already has. You will find ways to slowly separate yourself and create distance. Sometimes tensions build within the group and the whole relationship blows up; sometimes it’s a quick clean cut off. Either way, it comes to an end. It is done, and you’ve lost a friend.
The times following this is similar to any other break up. When you run into each other, you don’t speak, don’t make eye contact. Sometimes it’s a small wave or a muttered “hey,” but you don’t really interact any more than that. It’s awkward, if anything. As you slowly create your lives separate from each other, you will find the hole in your group slowly start to fill with positive people and better vibes. Eventually, you’ll forget what it was like to have that toxic friend. You will forget what it was like to have that missing piece from your life.
There will be days you miss the good parts of your friendship. You’ll see old pictures or talk about fun memories, and you’ll almost miss having that friend. You’ll remember all the little moments when everything was good, but once you look at the big picture, you’ll remember why you cut out someone you were once so close to. It’s hard to suddenly end things with a best friend. It’s one less person to gossip with, to say “I love you” to, to make amazing memories with. You’ll move on, you’ll find new friends, and they might too. But in the end, having a healthy environment for yourself and your friends is what’s important. Keeping negative, problematic people in your life is never worth the hassle, no matter how close you are. Sometimes, best friends aren’t forever. People come and go, but that is life. Even though you lost a friend, you got rid of somebody who would only bring you down and hold you back. So be free, make new memories, and don’t forget to surround yourself with happiness.
