I cut myself for the first time when I was twelve years old. When I think of the time I spent in middle school I can hardly remember anything, but the memory of that first cut is still vivid in my mind. I had a made a new older friend on the bus and she had introduced me to the idea of cutting, she said it helped her feel calm and it seemed harmless and just experimental at the time, so I tried it too.

You don’t realize that you are addicted to something until you try to stop doing it and by the time I hit eighth grade I was hooked on cutting myself. I felt alone because cutting seemed so strange and even I didn’t really understand why I was doing it and my family was filled with concern and wanted me to stop, but just like with any addiction:

I couldn’t just stop.

I’m older now and I understand self harm a lot better than I did at twelve and I hope through my own struggle, my friends and family understand it a lot better too.

What is Self-Harm?

Self-harm, also known as self-injury or self-mutilation, is where someone deliberately hurts or injures themselves, this is often used as a way to cope; and against popular belief is not an attempt at suicide.

Though cutting is the most commonly discussed form of self-harm there are other types as well:

1. Burning.

2. Interfering with wound healing (picking or reopening wounds.

3. Punching or hitting oneself or other objects.

4. Inserting objects into the skin.

5. Purposely bruising or breaking one’s bones.

6. Certain forms of hair pulling.

Stats

Studies are now reporting that self-harm has reached ‘epidemic proportions,’ this behavior normally goes hand in hand with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, drug abuse, PTSD and alcohol abuse. As self-injury frequently occurs in private, rates of self-harm are difficult to determine.

Estimates vary widely from 3 percent to 38 percent in adolescents and young adults. Studies conducted with university students demonstrated a 17 percent lifetime prevalence rate in this population, with 13 percent reporting that they had engaged in self-harm more than once.

Studies of high school students indicated prevalence rates of self-harm in this population ranged from 13 percent to 24 percent. Onset can occur in children as young as seven years old, but the age of onset is usually between the ages of 12 and 15 years. Self-injury may also begin during the college years, with surveys reporting that 30 percent to 40 percent of college students report engaging in self-harm after the age of 17. While some people do answer this studies openly, others simply won't talk about self-harm for very understandable reasons so a lot of these numbers are probably a lot higher in reality.

How to Support Someone who Self-Harms

1. Ask how they are feeling/doing

2. Don’t be judgemental

3. Do not make them feel guilty for the effect their self harm is having on others

4. Let the person who self-harms know that you want to listen to them and hear how they are feeling when they feel ready and able to talk.

5. When they do discuss it with you, be compassionate and respect what the person is telling you, even though you may not understand or find it difficult to accept what they are doing.

6. Do not give ultimatums such as ‘If you don’t stop self-harming you have to move out’. This is not helpful and it won’t work.

7. Understand that it is a long and hard journey to stop self-harming

8. Read up on the subject so you can understand it better.

Recovery

As I have gotten older, through the help of therapy and self work, I have been better able to cope with negative things in my life, this isn’t to say that I don’t think of resorting to self-harm, everyday I have to make the conscious decision to continue in my recovery.

I have been blessed with an amazing support system who has been patient with me these last couple of years. More recently, self-harm has been discussed in the media, Demi Lovato is one of the many celebs who have openly discussed their struggle and I think her story is so important for people to hear.

I felt weird and alone when I first started self-harming, which is why I kept it secret for so long.

We need to end the stigma behind self-injury and start openly talking about it.

If you’re self harming, you aren’t alone and you’re not strange or crazy for the way you are choosing to cope with things.

There is help and there is hope.