Why I Stopped Saying "I Hate My Life"

Why I Stopped Saying "I Hate My Life"

When in reality, there are so many things to love about it.

Everyone has those phrases they say at least 12 times a day. For as long as I can remember, my go-to phrase after anything remotely difficult or stressful happened was, "I hate my life". This was always my dramatic way of letting people know something bad happened, whether it was that I failed a test or a boy I liked didn't text me. But the truth is, I have absolutely no reason to hate my life, and those words made me think that there was a possibility that I did.

There are highs and lows every single day, but it's hard to see the positive moments when the smallest negatives are the only things we talk about. When I came to this realization, I decided to write down all of the little things that make me happy. Now, any time I'm not content with the way my day is going, I read my "happy note". Instead of dwelling on the all-nighter I'm gonna pull in the library, I think of how I feel when I'm driving and the sky is changing colors between orange and pink and purple. I picture myself in a cool coffee shop sipping on an iced latte and watching the way people interact with each other. If I get in an argument with one of my friends, I can look through an old Facebook photo album and remember all the dumb things that made us laugh. This new habit helps me handle stressful moments in a more positive way. I'm not saying we can just avoid all of our problems, but the happier we are, the less we "sweat the small stuff".

It's hard to tell people to be optimistic when it may seem to them that everything is gray. There are days when I don't think it's possible for something to go my way. But, we need to take control over our own happiness. We can mourn and we can be sad and we can cry, but we cannot let those feelings poison our days. We need to enjoy every second we spend with our family and friends. How often do we look back to remember all of the crappy days we've had? We don't shouldn't. When we're daydreaming about the past, we think of that one time we laughed until we couldn't breathe, or the night we stayed up with family until 5 AM talking about pretty much everything but absolutely nothing.

I'm not here to dictate your lives-- I'm a big believer in the "you do you" lifestyle-- but when you're having a bad day, or week, don't automatically say you hate your life. Think of one thing that has made you smile from ear to ear when no one was around. If you do this, I promise that your life will feel less toxic and everything you are surrounded by will be a little brighter.

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Stay True To Yourself

Let your true colors shine.

There is that one famous saying that college is where you find yourself, I never was a firm believer of this. I chose to believe that you were supposed to have it all figured out by age 14.

Growing up, I had earned the nickname of 'flower child' and back then it seemed to be a compliment, because what 6-year-old wouldn't love to be a wild child.

So in seeming fashion, I was bound to find a way to fit into my nickname, whether that was when I would rather play outside in the mud or when I would wear a bright yellow patterned dress with hot pink floral leggings. I sure knew how to make a splash and put a smile on everyone's faces.

I kept this happy-go-lucky mindset with me throughout my days.

There was not much question about who I wanted to be until I reached that age of 14. Things were changing I was about to move on to high school, boys no longer had cooties, and it was no longer acceptable to wear pigtails with that one yellow patterned dress.

The days leading into high school I, of course, had no idea what to expect, I went from a class of 40 kids to a class of 200 kids.

There were a lot people who didn't know me and I didn't know them. The night before school started I painted a mask across my face for the first time and it was not going to be the last time I wore it.

I hid my true personality away from the world, I become someone who I did not recognize, the light behind my smile faded, I no longer knew who I was or who I was meant to be.

Throughout high school I kept that mask on tight, I changed myself to fit in with the 'it' crowd. I chose to dress in a certain way, I chose to use my words in a certain way in order to make friends. It was not until I lost those 'friends' that I realized that maybe if I show people who I really am they might actually like me for me.

So with a little protest and a push, I took the mask off, and it felt as foreign nature to walk around without the mask, it had become a part of me. It was hard not to wear the mask some days. I didn't know how to make friends without the mask on, so of course, I put it back on.

With a little help from those who love me, I was able to take the mask off for what felt like forever, but just as I was getting used to life without the mask it was time to turn the page.

I still didn't know who I really was and I grew scared I never would find out, as college started I found myself putting that mask on once more.

Of course, it did its duty in the fact that I made friends. As the story repeats, these friends did not appreciate my true colors. You would think that this would cause the mask to become a part of who I was and who I was supposed to be, but as a matter of fact, that was the last day I put that mask on.

I freed myself of the burdens of being someone who I am not and all it took was a little faith and a little bit of growing up. Whether that being that I was on my own or that I was working towards my planned future, I knew who I was finally meant to be.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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This Is Life

Stop letting others dictate who you are

take a moment and look around
understand and appreciate
review the situation

deciding that you are not worth it
that you are anything but special
you matter

letting other people decide for you
following the crowd
working too hard for too little

telling yourself you cannot love
hiding away
running away from your problems

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