Why I Stopped Saying "I Hate My Life"

Why I Stopped Saying "I Hate My Life"

When in reality, there are so many things to love about it.

Everyone has those phrases they say at least 12 times a day. For as long as I can remember, my go-to phrase after anything remotely difficult or stressful happened was, "I hate my life". This was always my dramatic way of letting people know something bad happened, whether it was that I failed a test or a boy I liked didn't text me. But the truth is, I have absolutely no reason to hate my life, and those words made me think that there was a possibility that I did.

There are highs and lows every single day, but it's hard to see the positive moments when the smallest negatives are the only things we talk about. When I came to this realization, I decided to write down all of the little things that make me happy. Now, any time I'm not content with the way my day is going, I read my "happy note". Instead of dwelling on the all-nighter I'm gonna pull in the library, I think of how I feel when I'm driving and the sky is changing colors between orange and pink and purple. I picture myself in a cool coffee shop sipping on an iced latte and watching the way people interact with each other. If I get in an argument with one of my friends, I can look through an old Facebook photo album and remember all the dumb things that made us laugh. This new habit helps me handle stressful moments in a more positive way. I'm not saying we can just avoid all of our problems, but the happier we are, the less we "sweat the small stuff".

It's hard to tell people to be optimistic when it may seem to them that everything is gray. There are days when I don't think it's possible for something to go my way. But, we need to take control over our own happiness. We can mourn and we can be sad and we can cry, but we cannot let those feelings poison our days. We need to enjoy every second we spend with our family and friends. How often do we look back to remember all of the crappy days we've had? We don't shouldn't. When we're daydreaming about the past, we think of that one time we laughed until we couldn't breathe, or the night we stayed up with family until 5 AM talking about pretty much everything but absolutely nothing.

I'm not here to dictate your lives-- I'm a big believer in the "you do you" lifestyle-- but when you're having a bad day, or week, don't automatically say you hate your life. Think of one thing that has made you smile from ear to ear when no one was around. If you do this, I promise that your life will feel less toxic and everything you are surrounded by will be a little brighter.

Popular Right Now

Bailey Posted A Racist Tweet, But That Does NOT Mean She Deserves To Be Fat Shamed

As a certified racist, does she deserve to be fat shamed?

This morning, I was scrolling though my phone, rotating between Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube and Snapchat again, ignoring everyone's snaps but going through all the Snapchat subscription stories before stumbling on a Daily Mail article that piqued my interest. The article was one about a teen, Bailey, who was bullied for her figure, as seen on the snap below and the text exchange between Bailey and her mother, in which she begged for a change of clothes because people were making fun of her and taking pictures.

Like all viral things, quickly after her text pictures and harassing snaps surfaced, people internet stalked her social media. But, after some digging, it was found that Bailey had tweeted some racist remark.

Now, some are saying that because Bailey was clearly racist, she is undeserving of empathy and deserves to be fat-shamed. But does she? All humans, no matter how we try, are prejudiced in one way or another. If you can honestly tell me that you treat everyone with an equal amount of respect after a brief first impression, regardless of the state of their physical hygiene or the words that come out of their mouth, either you're a liar, or you're actually God. Yes, she tweeted some racist stuff. But does that mean that all hate she receives in all aspects of her life are justified?

On the other hand, Bailey was racist. And what comes around goes around. There was one user on Twitter who pointed out that as a racist, Bailey was a bully herself. And, quite honestly, everyone loves the downfall of the bully. The moment the bullies' victims stop cowering from fear and discover that they, too, have claws is the moment when the onlookers turn the tables and start jeering the bully instead. This is the moment the bully completely and utterly breaks, feeling the pain of their victims for the first time, and for the victims, the bully's demise is satisfying to watch.

While we'd all like to believe that the ideal is somewhere in between, in a happy medium where her racism is penalized but she also gets sympathy for being fat shamed, the reality is that the ideal is to be entirely empathetic. Help her through her tough time, with no backlash.

Bullies bully to dominate and to feel powerful. If we tell her that she's undeserving of any good in life because she tweeted some racist stuff, she will feel stifled and insignificant and awful. Maybe she'll also want to make someone else to feel as awful as she did for some random physical characteristic she has. Maybe, we might dehumanize her to the point where we feel that she's undeserving of anything, and she might forget the preciousness of life. Either one of the outcomes is unpleasant and disturbing and will not promote healthy tendencies within a person.

Instead, we should make her feel supported. We all have bad traits about ourselves, but they shouldn't define us. Maybe, through this experience, she'll realize how it feels to be prejudiced against based off physical characteristics. After all, it is our lowest points, our most desperate points in life, that provide us with another perspective to use while evaluating the world and everyone in it.

Cover Image Credit: Twitter / Bailey

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

The Only Person Who Knows How To Best Love You Is You

You are so worth it!


Something I have struggled with up until this year is realizing how much worth and value I have. For years I saw myself as unworthy and of little to no value; my self-esteem was extremely low and I struggled with depression. No matter what people told me, I still saw myself as absolutely low. I began believing that I would forever have these thoughts, believe this about myself, and see myself this way.

The beautiful thing is, the opposite has happened. What I have come to realize this year is that I am one awesome person and I am worth so much. Regardless of what anyone tells me, I know how I see myself and I know what is true about me. I know that I am going to do amazing things and continue to grow into the woman I was created to be. I know that I am beautiful, wonderful, talented, special, I have a purpose, and I have value.

To anyone reading this right now, what you are hearing in your head and all the negativity people are saying about you, those are all lies. The truth is, you are an absolutely amazing person who has a purpose. You matter and you mean something! You are worth so much more than you see yourself. You were not placed on this Earth just to take up space, you were placed on this Earth to do immeasurably great things and make such a huge difference in not only the world but the lives of those you encounter.

Something that has always helped me is leaving notes of positivity in places I will continually see them; feeding yourself with positivity about yourself is one of the most impactful things you can do. One of my current struggles is realizing that my past does not determine what I deserve now in the present; I have a note on my mirror, a note in my car, and a quote as my background on my phone that all say "You deserve happiness. You deserve peace. You deserve laughter. You deserve to love and be loved. You deserve life. Don't ever forget this." Just seeing that constantly the past few days is one of the best reminders that I deserve what I have always yearned for.

The negative thoughts of you and who you are will not always be there; you will overcome them and go on to help people struggling with the same thing just like I am doing right now. You are worth so much, have so much value, have so much potential, and have so much purpose!

"False ideas about you destroy you." Frank Shamrock

"Love only yourself a little bit longer, until you can't stand not to love someone else." Kiera Cass

"Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you." Steve Maraboli

"Encourage yourself, believe in yourself, and love yourself. Never doubt who you are." Stephanie Lahart


Related Content

Facebook Comments