The 2017-2018 flu season is the worst it has been in a nearly a decade. There are about 200,000 Americans affected each year, and it is currently active in 49 states. Since the flu is most prevalent among children and the elderly, college students don't typically think twice about this disease. However, that's not true for those of us who are self-proclaimed "germophobes".
In the spirit of a true germophobe, I have prescribed to most of the following behaviors, in an effort to avoid germs…
A true germophobe asks their waiter at the restaurant to describe his or her recommendation from the menu, and goes with it, in order to avoid touching the menu that so many others have handled. Then, in the restroom at the restaurant, a true germophobe will use a paper towel to open the bathroom door, then hold it open with their foot while stretching to make a 2-point shot into the trash can across the room!
A true germophobe is the person who pushes the elevator button with their elbow, (even though their hands are free), and promptly steps away from the buttons inside the elevator, just in case the next person asks them to push floor 24, which is too high for their elbow to reach!
A true germophobe cringes at the thought of boarding an airplane - an experience filled with multiple trappings of microorganisms at every turn. A germophobe says, “no” to the peanuts and pretzels, because it might mean touching the dreaded back-of-the-seat tray where someone has, no doubt, changed a baby’s diaper. A true germophobe will shiver from New York to LA, and still refuse the community blanket. A true germophobe longingly gazes across the aisle, straining to read someone else’s magazine, in order to avoid touching the onboard copy of any printed material!
Yes, I’m a true germophobe, and proud of it! I’ll be the one waving to you from outside your doctor’s office when you are waiting to get your prescription for Tamiflu!!
