The other day I was going through my Timehop, which for those of you who don’t know is an app that connects to your social media accounts and shows what you had posted on that date in the past. For some reason, I enjoy looking back on the person who I used to be and the thoughts that I used to think, probably because it’s the only thing that’s left of my past self.
I came across an old tweet of mine that read: “I feel like some of the people I’d willingly give a pink starburst to just wouldn’t do the same.” At first, I laughed, but then I realized the little bits of pain in my words. This is something that’s still completely relevant to my present self. It immediately reminded me to choose how I share my time wisely, and to surround myself with mutual respect.
Lack of mutuality can be toxic. I think everyone knows the feeling of being willing to do something for somebody who isn’t willing to do the same for you. When one is put into this position, they either realize they don’t deserve it, or end up giving the wrong people the right parts of them. We’ve all been there at one point or another, yet how do we get out of it?
You might be looking for step-by-step instructions on how to eliminate the toxic people from your life, but it varies in each individual’s case. All I can say is to go with your gut instinct; it’s there for a reason. If someone treats you like they don’t care, believe them. We should never set ourselves on fire just to keep others warm. It might be their choice to treat you unfairly, but it’s your choice in whether or not you want to deal with it. Love yourself and know your worth.
As I sit here, I think about all of the figurative pink starbursts that I’ve so carelessly given away to people whom I only knew the shallow surfaces of. As much as I want to hate myself for offering my genuine self to unappreciative people, all I can do is learn from it. I have to remind myself that no matter how badly I wish it, no body has the same heart as me. And that’s okay.
There are too many people in this life who are accused of feeling ‘too’ deeply, while others feel nothing at all. If you’re one of those people whose been told you feel things “too much,” I’m here to tell you that it’s a blessing in disguise. People like you are the ones who can empathize with others the most, and you’re the reason that love still exists in this world.
Never think there is anything wrong with you just because you choose to be your most sincere and real self towards everyone you meet. How you treat people is your karma, how they react is theirs. Don't let the ugliness of this world seep into your genuiness. Everybody you come in contact with will teach you something, even if it means you have to sacrifice a few pink starbursts along the way.
