Expectations in the dating world have changed dramatically over the years. Believe it or not, there was once a time where going on a date was taken very seriously. Shocking right? Let me set a scene for you:

Back in the good old days, the boy would put in the extra effort to walk to the door, ring the doorbell and introduce himself to the girl’s father before taking her out. They would go out somewhere public, have a good time and then he’d take her home before midnight. No hidden agendas, just genuine interest and a fun time. The next day they would call and plan to go on a second date.

Nowadays, the typical ‘date’ consists of the boy pulling up to the girl’s house and sending a lame ‘here’ text because who rings the doorbell anymore? They drive back to his place to ‘watch a movie’ and then he drives her home way past her curfew and they never speak again.

Sounds romantic right?

I don’t know about you guys, but I am rather unimpressed with modern dating.

First of all, dating in today’s world primarily happens over social media. Phone calls are out of date, so plans are made over text. That’s right. Texting is so impersonal, no one ever remembers how romantic it was to be asked out over Facebook messenger. What ever happened to getting up the courage to ask someone out in person?

I think the best part of old-fashioned dating was the lack of technology. It is so easy nowadays for people to flake last minute. Back then, there was a little something called accountability. If you made plans, you stuck with them. There was no skipping out when something better came along.

Just to make this clear, this isn’t a guy vs. girl problem, this is an entire generation problem. We have lost the sense of what it means to be dating. The term no longer holds any weight.

In fact, the concept of dating has become so casual that people won’t even call it dating anymore. It has somehow morphed into “just talking” or “hanging out” because people no longer want to commit to anything more than that.

Not to mention the fact that everything is sexualized. You can’t even watch a movie anymore without someone trying to make a move. Like please, just sit down, eat your popcorn and let me watch the movie.

The thing that gets me the most is the concept of sleeping around. I don’t understand why anyone would rather sleep with a stranger every night instead of finding someone they genuinely care about and have it actually mean something.

When did sex become casual?

For some reason, our generation hates the idea of being tied down in any way. We like the ability to do whatever we want when we want. That’s why people dread being in an exclusive relationship, they want to keep their options open in case someone better comes along. It’s a lot easier to break things off with someone you’re “just talking” to rather than someone you’re dating.

That’s another problem we have-- lack of commitment. Dating has turned into a selfish gain rather than a mutual give and get. People date these days to get something out of it, whether it’s a rise in status, sexual satisfaction, or the ego boost in knowing someone likes you.

But once people feel they are no longer gaining anything from the relationship, or the relationship becomes too much work, they give up and move on to someone else. There is no effort to compromise in difficult situations.

Thanks to unrealistic romance in movies, we set our expectations for love to a fairy tale level. We fail to recognize that love isn’t easy, and that work needs to be put into the relationship to make it work.

When couples hit their first bump in the road, they immediately start contemplating whether or not it was meant to be. Clearly, if there is any sort of disagreement between partners they couldn’t possibly be soulmates, right?

Wrong.

Somehow our generation has managed to make being happily committed to one person “uncool."

Even if you are one of the lucky ones who has managed to come out of the dating scene victorious, you still have to deal with others showing zero respect for your relationship. What happened to respecting other people’s relationships?

What is it about someone’s relationship status changing from single to taken that suddenly makes them ten times more desirable? Is it the fact that someone is telling you "hey, you can’t have this person anymore, they’re with me"? Is it viewed as a challenge? Are our egos really that big?

Our generation has effectively killed romance.

The world of dating has turned into a toxic environment compared to what it once was. Dating is no longer an expression of interest, but a selfish scheme to get what you want. I think it’s gone far enough. It’s about time we take some notes from the older generations and redefine modern dating.