This spring I planned on studying abroad from February to July. It was about a six-month block where I was planning to be away from a new relationship. Not to mention this was my first serious relationship. Really not to mention it was my first relationship being openly gay.
So, when you put all those factors together, many people would say we were pretty doomed. We had only been official since the fall and we were going into a long distance relationship longer than we were actually in a relationship.
Our six month anniversary was spent 10,000 miles apart. I was in Sydney, Australia, and my girlfriend, Eliza was in Ithaca, NY, where we both attend college.
This weekend because of my amazing and supporting parents I was able to spend the whole weekend with them. They drove all the way down from New York to my home in Massachusetts and we spent numerous days making our favorite meals, brushing our teeth together, rollerblading, playing ski ball, and taking way too many photos.
Being in a long distance relationship may not be for everybody, but it’s so worth it. Especially if you see a future with that person.
Since talking was really the only thing we could be doing, communication has never been better for us.
For anyone who’s struggling with a long distance relationship, although I may not be an expert for there are loads of people who do these for years.
Here is my amateur opinion and tips:
1. Always find time to talk. Whether it be a simple goodnight or good morning, hearing their voice once a day.
2. Send letters. Seeing someone’s handwriting can feel one step closer to having them there.
Although we’re broke college students who definitely couldn’t do that we tried to make a date the second I got back to see each other.
3. If you can, make a date to visit.
4. Don’t get upset when they’re busy with their friends.The number one killer in an LDR is serious FOMO. When you want to be face timing and they’re with their friends, not making time for you. It’s their right to have fun too, you should be happy for them, not mad they’re busy.
Spotify makes collaborative playlists for a reason :)
5. Make playlists for each other!!
6. Talk about your future.This gives you something to look forward to. Whether it’s about your new apartment or all the meals you’ll cook together, distracting yourself with the future rather than the now can really help!
Obviously, you shouldn’t completely ignore them and pretend you don’t have a partner back at home, but don’t NOT have fun. Go out, have a few drinks with your friends, and don’t spend the whole time on your phone.
7. Don’t envelop your whole being with missing them.
So don’t give up hope.
8. I always like to think if you truly want something and truly love someone you’ll make it work, no matter how hard it is.
That being said, long distance relationships can be a really interesting and beneficial part of a serious relationship. Don’t just break up because you think it’ll be too hard to miss them all the time. You miss them because you have something to miss — and that’s a pretty great feeling.
So, a huge thank you to my beautiful, handsome, and lovely girlfriend Eliza Wildes for making me the luckiest girl in the world. And thanks for making the thousands of miles worth it.
Can’t wait to break the distance again. I love you.